I have a hard time understanding my Mother and a harder time understanding my Father. I wonder how hard they try to understand me, or if they just assume they are all knowing - they're are a second hand of God.

I am more enlightened by the more people I don't allow myself to forgive. Discovering their mountains flooded my seas and I am only as strong as the monuments around me. The knowledge of my pain is never exploited because there's no autopsy on a body that still breathes. I met these people before I knew what it meant to have known me. I am enlightened in the ways of worth.

I do not have much knowledge on why people are bad people or how good people can do bad things, or how bad people can do good things. How hurt people can hurt people. How someone can have such malicious intent and still sleep. I think causing pain is absolutely embarrassing.

So no , I do not understand the people who have not only stabbed me in the back but make a point to twist the knife. Yet my greatest enlightenment is not caring to find out. Speaking to these people again is the definition of failure. It is projectile vomiting and rotten eggs. It is the spilt milk that I cried over.

My enlightenment is blurry, I can't tell if I've started living life differently or just found a new way to stumble through it. I'm just a writer who can't write. Just an expression of ideas. I don't know how to properly form sentences. But I have learned that some things are only for God to forgive.

I have a hard time understanding my mother and a harder time understanding my father. I've had to unlearn the things they have taught me . Daddy lesson's were never very good , never very loving. Lessons I create new for me and find importance in enlightenment even if it means lack of knowledge.