Hell Dust and Heaven

I tried to be Stoic

But my shoulders caved. I drew into myself and averted my eyes.

It was 6 P.M and I was on Morrison Time. Consecutive sunsets bled into a blur of consecutive suns rising.

I heard you breaths as you slipped off. I tried to be quiet. I tried to be calm. You were drifting to dreams and ready to crash and i was hyped up on white line dreams and overtaken with white line fever.

I wanted to go. I wanted to run. But...your breaths drew me in. Soft and steady. Something slipping in between the muddled noise of this hotel and the steady, monotonous tones of a local anchor somewhere.

I looked at your face, changed now and wiser. Your Wilder days were behind you and i was a split second from a monster flip. The Hell Dust had its hold. I needed to go, to ride this high alone. But your breath... soft and shallow stunned me to stillness. You whispered my name as you slept. I moved closer and loaded a bowl. Just a little green to take off the edge. I wanted to hold you, to feel your skin... soft and warm against me.

I crushed a bar, to bring me down and you moved at the sound. A quite request. Like an invitation to your bed. I tried to come to you, frozen their in fear of myself. You said my name again, your golden eyes brought to life by my high.

It was 7. P.M when my fingers found your skin. Your breath quicken at my touch. I knew i should go. Theres a thin line between fuckin and making love, i thought. And i was crossing it now. My lips tracing your thigh, you pushed closer...an eager gesture of lust and need. There was peace and heaven in your sighs, in your cunt, in your need. It was fast and fleeting and then your head was on my chest. Your hair tangled and wild against my tits. It felt like home. But i knew when your eyes closed i would go.

It was 9 P.M when kissed you softly and stroked your hair. I quick movement and my things were packed. I took one last look as I opened the door. I wanted to stay but the cycle was set deep inside me. I was a runner. The fear or you and me.

It was 9:15 when the elevator door open. The tears were coming now. The door closed and I was alone.

I tried to be Stoic

But my shoulders caved.