WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY EX

At first I thought this cannot be a source of inspiration,

To dig into the past and force what's left of one's imagination.

But then I said, why not, if I could spit all my spite, malice and venom.

It's judgment day! I found my path in life, the precious thing to lean on.

With no further introduction I open the Pandora's box.

And flounder selflessly into the muddy scary bogs.

Here they are, the important lessons I was taught,

The wisdom I received, the one I never sought:

One, if your buddy has a thing for fetishism,

You either fit or run, apply your realism.

Either way, it will most surely end in tears.

Or blood and death and certain years

In a warm and cozy place with bars.

Where you'll have time to cure your scars

Or gain new ones - it's always up to you.

So far for lesson one, now let's go to number two:

Two, if you're "almost perfect" but he "can make you better",

Believe me, you'll never reach his goals, so run, no matter

What the butterflies in stomach make you feel.

Instead, you'd better guide them to your heels

And fly away with all your imperfections.

Embrace the fact you might need no corrections.

Three, if he claims the woman's place is in the kitchen,

Your walk away from him is not considered ditching,

But a good survival instinct, hear what I say!

Handling the alpha male - there is no other way.

Five, if he dubs your bestie "my spare tire',

Soon or sooner it will spark a fire

In which the three of you may burn alive.

So, be very careful with number five.

Six, if he's narrow-minded, rude and frankly dull,

Do not expect to change the way he sees the world.

He's mister know-it-all, there shouldn't be a doubt.

There's no topic he's not competent about.

And you know nothing, a clueless little girl.

So “you'd better listen” to his words, his “pearls”.

I'll end my list with number seven.

When it seems your man is sent from Heaven.

He's perfect, you are happy and content

And nothing warns you of the bitter end

That is to come, when one day you just trip,

Then the pink sunglasses simply slip,

And make their noisy crushing fall

Then you understand: THERE IS NO COMMON GOAL!

Nothing both of you would like to do together.

Common future is something that will happen NEVER.

Both hearts are broken but it is for the best

To split the ways - one to the east, the other - to the west.

And start again your hectic quest.

In search of perfect half, no time to rest.

The years pass, you either find him or he finds you,

Or nothing of the sort, you realize alone's an option too.

Because, let's face it, you should have known it from the start:

In YOUR life YOU are the person with the most important part!