Love/Hurt

It's a strange experience; losing someone to love someone. Usually, a person can have as many loved ones as they damned well please, so long as the feeling is true. They care for you, you care for them, there's more than enough space for the variety.

Still, sometimes, there's an ultimatum. Very, very rarely, you have to choose.

You're trapped between the person you want to be with forever and your own family. The people who've been there your entire life and the person you can vividly see as a permanent part of your future. You're trapped and there's no slight of hand possible, no other options; it's one or the other.

You remember your mother taking care of you on difficult nights. You remember the way she'd hug you out of worry or hug you when she missed you or hug you just for hugging's sake. You remember holding her back because she was a big part of your world. You remember your father's laughter. You know he can be cruel; you are well aware they both can be but these people have known you since forever.

They begged the skies for you - hoping, sobbing, searching.

They just can't accept the person you've grown to become.

They tell you're wrong. You're destined for eternal torment with this love of yours. You're sin its very self. They want you to come back to them. Be pure for them. They love you and they want you with them in their paradise and they think you'll miss it if you fuck everything up and ruin your relationship with them and their deity by loving this one person...

Love ought to be infinite. I think it is. Love is every good thing. There is shadow in it, too but the light has such a blinding, warm glow. You never thought you'd be brought to this point but what can you do? What will you do?

Your dream or your foundation? Will you go steady, choosing their hold on you, making yourself miserable but at least, knowing you haven't lost them or... Is it better to give into this other love? This different kind, this... I actually want to spend my whole life with you when I've always imagined I'd die a recluse kind of love?

Who will you choose? And who will you become at the end of it?

All this.

The fear, the loss, the damnation from desperate-to-be-righteous mouths...

All because you find yourself capable of loving the same gender.

(If you're curious, read my comment for the misunderstood lyric and a vent of indefinite length.)