Adios Chusei Kokoro Scrotum

From a random pop-up Zoom writing workshop last night. Each participant chose a word in a foreign language and it was used in the title, body of the work or both. Participants were @MeeJong, @shells, @putski and @ferryman.

I said goodbye to you at midnight and watched the stars fade out of the sky. You fell away from the safety that encased you, I saw the pain fall into your eyes. You were distant and different, caught up in the fray.

I probably shouldn't have said good-bye on a hilltop. You fell and bounced down the dunes past the lane of the moonlight. Landing in a place separate from me, far down and away.

I stood observing, god-like on high. Watching until you became a speck of dust. Omniscient, I was not. I could not see that the strength you would nurture climbing back up the hill would eclipse my own. In the end, I needed you back and you needed only to move forward.

You'd just been lost in it all. Majestic words and untold tales. I was lost in your wonder. Something childlike and bold. I tucked into myself and drew in. And watched you move away from the safety of you and me. Encased in my entrails, I took a drink and let you learn.

Still on my golden hilltop, I watched. Dawn was waking and I could see your pink silhouette moving further and further beyond my grasp. Did you steal my manhood in your departure? Could I rediscover it without you? Would the lessons of being a singularity draw you back into my orbit?

Loyalty. I rolled the word around in my mouth and tasted it. It once felt like spaghetti - my comfort food - but now felt like black liquorice. Bittersweet. Was it I, with my gentle adios, that changed it? Or was it you, with your distractions and distance, prompting my goodbye, which changed it?

You took my soul and it changed. Some differential distance between you and I. I came to her and you came to me and I look back at her with longing and looked at you with a half-assed wink. A makeshift preservation of a manhood lost.

I left my perch on Olympus. I could no longer bear to watch you run away. I guess my manhood had to be found on my own. I started running the other direction. Serendipity would lead us to each other, or it would not. I'm not sure what I would find in the darkness, but it had to be better than idly observing the events.

I wandered out into my car to catch a moment of peace and gather my thoughts. Under the seat, I found a pistol, but I'm not sure who owns it. I wonder if there's a geist attached to this shiny nickel plating? Maybe this gleaming tool would help me find my own.

Or maybe this weapon was used to usurp another’s spirit. A geist heist. I don’t know where to look to find the truth but I know if I keep my eyes closed what I see will be true. Will it not?

I settled myself into the words of today and I recent and step away.