The problem of choice

In this post, I intent to reflect on a theme that is a little taboo in our current society. Let me be clear, this is not a personal attack against any person or group of people. These are some of my reflections upon the state of society and the world. If this does offend you, perhaps you should question why, and reflect on that too. With that out of the way, let's begin with a thought experiment.

Imagine you are a child, this should not be too hard, as we were all once children. Now imagine you go to visit a friend. On top of their fridge, out of your reach, is a cookie jar. If you are normally a well-behaved child, you will probably not think too much more of it. The jar is out of your reach, therefore it is not for you. On the other hand, perhaps you are a bit of a naughty child. Maybe you would try to reach the jar to grab a cookie, despite it being placed out of your reach.

Now, imagine an adult comes in and tells you that it is normal to think about stealing cookies, and you shouldn't be worried about it. Let us consider what happens next, if you are naughty child, even though the adult did not actually give you permission to steal a cookie, this is probably the way you will interpret their words. The adult will probably also have little sympathy for you if the cookie jar turns out to be full of pickles. On the other hand, if you are a good child, the idea of stealing cookies may not have occurred to you, and thus a seed has been planted of something you might never have otherwise done.

Perhaps you can already see where I am going with this. I am aware that there are numerous ways in which this analogy breaks down, just as any analogy does. Please hear me out.

First some context. These days we are very concerned about mental health. This is generally a good thing. We are worried about the number the number of young people committing self-harm or suicide. We are asking how we can help them open up, be themselves, and feel secure. This is good. But perhaps some of our efforts have gone astray.

We tell our children at a younger and younger age that they have choice. Choice is good. But what about too much choice? Have you ever been to a restaurant where the menu was a 30-page book? Does it feel overwhelming, too hard to read all the options, let alone choose? We tell our children that they are not defined by their family, or their race, or their gender, or a bunch of other things. While these are all true, perhaps we should be encouraging them to discover these principles themselves, rather than force-feeding them to everyone. Perhaps our young people are getting lost among the choices we thrust upon them before they are mature enough to choose. Perhaps we should encourage them to break the molds placed around them, rather than open the mold while the cast is still molten and let it run.