Spilt beer
Augie, sweet girl, lived with her olds nearby
the intersection of the two major
arteries that link up the tethered isle
with the metropolis; the bus would roar
through the strip mall where my mother’s gift shop
sat at the top of Petrarch Avenue,
pass the bowling club, then corner, and stop
to let you off before it would renew
its howling on the straight past the lighthouse,
then negotiate the decline toward
the old fishing village. I’m curious
as to how my journey might have played out
if I’d been with Augie, her strawberry
hair and her skin like milk; the signs were there
to get serious, what got in the way
it’s hard to recall; was she just too square
for my mercurial temperament? I
had an invitation to her house once;
I sat on the chintz sofa with the sky
staring through the window at my fingers
resting on my pantslegs while Augie’s dad
engaged me in pleasant conversation
and poured beer to enliven the arid
ensemble we made; there were complaisant
mutterings when I forgot to open
my mouth while tipping my glass, spilling beer
on my tie. I had been overtaken
either by a bad conscience or some queer
anticipation of intimacy;
things hovered in the room like poltergeists.
Had her father asked to meet me? Did she
think that our recent friendship might convert
itself suddenly to romance? That would
have put an unwarranted rationale
on our ties, which were never understood
so entirely as to want parental
consent. Thus my thoughts unfolded as we
got in the car and drove down to the golf
club by the sea (we were always by the sea)
where we ate lunch, our knees under the stiff
tablecloth; it might have been a buffet,
and though I spilt nothing else on myself
it’s like Augie had tucked herself away
just like a white napkin: folded up safe.