dreaming

I still dream about you. They're the best, most wonderful dreams I have. They're nightmares. You come to me and I love you. I hug you and I wonder, I haven't felt your body under my hands in so long. Something was wrong, I know it, but right now, everything is so right that I can't be bothered to remember.

Why haven't I talked to you in so long? It doesn't matter, I promise I will never do it again. Just let me hold you. Let me love you.

But the morning sun hits my eyes and forces me awake. My bed feels too big and half of my room is empty and I have no plans for the day. I will not meet you for lunch. I will never see you again.

So I cry and I hate it and I never want to fall asleep again. I wish I didn't have to miss you. I wish my mind would remember you're gone, because my heart can never forget how I lost you.