memories

We haven't talked in years and yet, every January I will see the calendar and count out how old you are this year.

I hear you sing every time my favorite song comes on.

I will compare you to every friend I ever make and I wonder if anything will ever feel better than you.

I will tell myself that I won't screw up next time, but I wonder if the memory of you will ever allow a next time.

We haven't talked in years and yet- and yet.

You broke me and you fixed me and you echo from everything I do.

My shadow will forever be reaching out to hold your hand, but my body will never be willing to intertwine our fingers again.