Fine (Major TW)

'It's going to be okay'

You'll sit there and think.

Think that maybe, just maybe it'll all work out.

There are nights, where this mindset just doesn't happen.

Those are the saddest of nights.

The nights where you're taken to the deepest part of your very being.

Where all of your self hatred manifestos, and you begin to loathe it with every fibre of your being.

Those are the nights where you fall into the void.

Deeper

Deeper

and deeper until you cant find your way out. 

Then, you sit there. 

You sit there and think of everything wrong with you.

You think of your voice, your hair, your face, you looks, your personality. Everything. Then, you begin to think more. You think of every imperfection. Every small detail shows itself before you cant even pick out anything thats good about you. 

Not like there was anything in that category to begin with.

Now, this is the point where you stand up. You stand up and brush off your clothes and begin to look around.

You walk in circles.

Over and over and over you walk the same path. And every single time you begin to hate a little more about humanity. 

Cynical, isn't it?

But thats just how the game is played. Your not the puppet master, you're a pawn. Fated to play the same old game until your string is cut. 

But thats alright.

After all, everyone thinks you're fine. 

And, 

As long as others are fine, who cares about you? As if anyone would ever notice you, you're not even a needle in a haystack

No.

Compared to everyone else? You're insignificant. Over seven billion people in this world, so who would care about one single morsel? Besides, it was all your fault.

Your parent's divorce

Your family crumbling

Your friends' depression

Even their suicide attempts.

The world is better off without you!

So come on,

Do it.

Don't be a coward, just think about everything you've done. This will be good for the world! After this, you'll thank me.

As they always say,

You're never going anywhere with your life kid!

Who cares if you cut it short?

Thirteen years you've ruined things.

Thirteen years you've been a bother.  

You can still fix it! Tie the rope, slit your wrists and swallow the pills.

There you go.

Can you feel the blackness enveloping you?

Thats good.

You'll finally be out of the way!

You'll finally stop ruining things for once.

Your friends are cheering you on!

Close your eyes now, you should rest.

I hope you never wake up,

Because I would be just fine if you didn't.