Sweet Flashes

I had not thought this through, not one bit. I had invited too many people, made too big a spectacle. I mean that's what you do when you're having a baby though right? Throw a big party and plan a big surprise to find out the gender... in front of almost everyone you know? No no, I did the right thing, I won't regret this in ten years when my baby is bigger and asking about their birth and everything before and after.

"Alrighty guys, lets get mom and dad out here and find out our little surprise!" My sister sounds so much louder than the last time we talked only three minutes ago. I look over to my partner and our eyes hold the same nervousness, but his blue mossy orbs remind me that although this is in front of everyone, it is only for us.

By the time we get outside and everyone has their phones ready, my anxiety peaks again. I don't know if gender disappointment is a real thing or just a myth, but I am scared I will feel it. I don't even care what gender I am having, but subconsciously maybe I am. My sister has a little boy and I adore him, maybe I am hoping for a boy. But I see how most women wish for a little girl as their first and how magical it can be, I could be wishing for a girl instead.

"Okay, so when the parents are ready they will open the umbrella, reveal the gender, and you guys better make sure there's plenty of videos!" Okay, it's time. I look to my partner, he mouths to three, and together we open the umbrella. And it didn't matter to me what color was flowing down in little wisps, this baby was our love made anew. They were going to be their own person, and I was going to love them unconditionally; I already did anyway, that won't be changing anytime soon.