The Time I Pretended To Be A Lion Tamer To Save The President of Niger

"Get out," he barks.

I put my hands up, making a show of trembling as I slip out of the car. The man has two pistols in his belt, a wide mouth, and laugh lines around his eyes. Of course that doesn't mean he won't kill me: he'll just grin from ear to ear as he does it.

It does strange things to the brain, this heady atmosphere of rebellion. It has been only two days since the military has killed hundreds and sapped the government of all pretensions of democracy, yet one would think the circus had just come to town.

"Get on your knees," the soldier spits.

This is the way I had imagined this would go, but I would be lying if I said my heartbeat wasn't up a few notches anyway. Extra calories burned I guess.

He yells in a language I can hardly understand (Hausa) and then suddenly a blindfold is placed over my eyes. Now I am really trembling. But I breathe methodically: they won't kill me, not yet. Or will they? For a moment, Hugo's plan seems almost laughable.

I hear the sound of an engine and then a car speeding away, and finally, it comes; a hard kick to the ribs which sends me flying.

Yet, for some reason, it doesn't hurt. Nothing does, although I can feel blood trickling from my temple.

Perhaps it is the shock, but more likely it is the pills Hugo had made me swallow five minutes beforehand; even more likely it's the fact he had told me this exact thing would happen, and that it would be a sign I was getting through the gates. In any case, I am no longer afraid. Instead, I am filled with a heady drunken elation that this crazy plan is actually working.

...

Let me explain. We are in Niger: Niamey, Niger, to be exact. If you don't know much about Niger, then you're halfway to knowing all there is to know, for its resources and development are about as deep as a puddle, apart from the considerable stores of gold just north of us, that is.

You see, Niger is the second poorest country in the world, and its only real city, Niamey, is a boiling hot eyesore just on the southern tip of the Sahara. The country is comprised of a mixture of peoples, all of whom jockey for control and cessation, defying the Western pressure to become a melting pot, opting for varying bloody slices of the pie instead.

Niger became Muslim long ago, but just now it is becoming Islamic, with ISIL - the African brand of ISIS - on the loose, rampaging where it will, and how it will. This entails leaving plenty of bodiless skulls littering the desert's edge, poorly worded Shahadas still lingering in the air behind them.

I've learned the Shahada well, by the way. I won't be caught with my pants down, especially since I'm blonde-haired and blue-eyed and probably look good in front of a jihadi camera. There are worse things than pretending to be Muslim for a day, given I am agnostic at best.

But that is neither here nor there: because the military junta, despite having deep Islamic pretensions, has not a speck of common cause with the ragtag terrorists who've again and again managed to lop off their personnel's heads ( incidentally, sending the rest of the soldiers running back to daddy, tails between their legs).

And of course, the Islamists would like nothing more than to step in and overthrow the overthrowers (I don't think that's even a word), but as Hugo instructed me last night, let's tame one lion at a time, so excuse me before my brain explodes trying to decipher exactly what on God's good earth is going on here. Hugo is much better at that. He has the master plan. And so naturally, he has sent me here like a lab rat, seeing if I can't sniff out the solution he's already prearranged.

Pity if I don't: I'll likely have my head blown off.

Title: The Time I Pretended To Be a Loin Tamer To Save The President of Niger

Genre: Action/Adventure/Intl

Age Range: 18-60

Word Count: 60,000

Author Name: Anna Kratki

Why Project Is a Good Fit: snappy, irreverent humor, upmarket plot construction, 'learning without learning' about current events in an obscure yet important region (Sahel)

The Hook: Manon thinks she's just being sent on another hum-drum mission to the land of her roots (The Sahara), to save another deposed president - but little does she know that she's unwittingly stepped into the middle of something much much bigger, and now she's gone from hook to bait.

Synopsis: Manon comes hot off of a job in Syria, down to Niger, where there's just been a military coup. She's supposed to infiltrate the deposed president's palace (where he's being held under house arrest), pretending to be a lion specialist in order to help the military sell of the large game the president had acquired. Everything is going according to plan, but when Manon finally gains access to the president, he refuses to go with her, and she is caught. After another failed escape attempt, she, another African captive girl, and the president's wife are given to ISIL (ISIS in Sahel region) in some sort of goodwill deal between the two warring factions. To make matters worse, Manon's recent bloody history in Syria is about to catch up with her, and to make matters more complicated, she's grown attached to the captive girl and begins to see her mission change - will she be able to outsmart ISIL, save the girl and the president's wife, and help restore Niger to order? Probably not, but she'll die trying.

Target Audience: Generation X, Y, and Z interested in foreign affairs.

Bio: I am a small business owner in Croatia who used to work at CURE Children's Hospital in Niamey, Niger, as a writer and photographer.

Platform: None

Education: Cornell University, BA Near Eastern Studies, 2012

Experience: A few years in West Africa, A Few Years teaching in the Middle East, living and writing all over the world.

Personality/Writing Style: I try to keep it fast-paced, and three parts salty one part soulful.

Likes/Hobbies: Ultra trail running - up more than down. Cooking. Photography (a lot).

Hometown: Ithaca, NY