Shattered World

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body," he says with a mischievous smile, beaming up at me with pride of his own terrible joke.

He always finds a way to make a joke even when he lays on this hospital bed, knowing he only has a day left to live, knowing that I am never going to see him again. Even when he knows he is about to die he still finds a way to smile and make jokes about his own, oncoming death.

My lip quivers as I smile weakly, watching him. I memorize everything about him, everything I can, before he's gone. Tears prick the sides of my eyes, threatening to break loose, but I won't let them. This will not be the last image that he sees of me, I want him to see me strong, even though on the inside my heart is breaking into a million pieces, knowing that tomorrow morning he won't be there. He's been by my side my whole life, telling me where to put my feet when I lose my way, holding my hand, comforting me, making me smile when it feels like I'll never laugh again. When it feels like the world is falling apart, he was there showing me that everything will be okay, helping me put my world back together. But now, now it seems my whole world, my whole life is glass, cracking with every second we get closer to tomorrow.

He can't leave me. He can't go. I need him.

I need him.

A warm, frail hand grasps mine, squeezing my hand with all of its strength, silently assuring me that it'll be okay. That even though he is going to die, and he won't be there for me anymore, I will be okay. I have to. For him.

I wake up the next morning, my mind groggy from sleep. My vision slowly regains focus and I see him in front of me. He does not breathe. He does not move. My heart beats rapidly in my chest.

"No, no, no, no," I say, taking his hand in mine. It is cold. "NO!"

I bend over him, shaking him vigorously, trying to wake him up. "Wake up! Will, wake up! This is not the time for jokes!"

Tears burst from my eyes and pour down my cheeks as I hold onto him tightly. Doctors come in and try to take him away from me, but I struggle against them and hold onto him as tight as I can.

"No! NO!" I yell.

"He's dead, dear. You have to let him go. He's dead." One of the nurses tell me, trying to pry me from his body.

"No! He's not, you're lying!" I shake him harder. "Wake up! No, Will, wake up! You're supposed to wake up and laugh and tell me that it was a joke. Your supposed to be alive. Come one, wake up! Laugh at me for thinking it was real! Wake up, Will! Wake up..."

Finally, I stop struggling and go limp over top of his body, letting my tears pour down. He's gone. He's gone.

He's gone...

They take him away and sit in the room, numb. No tears come, no feelings, nothing. I have no one else. Will was all I had left, and now, he's gone, and I am all alone. I have nothing left. I am nothing now. The glass world, that Will had helped keep together, was thrown against the wall, shattering into a thousand small pieces, turning into dust. What am I going to do now? Who am I now?