The Flat Earth
There's something about change. It turned out the Earth really was flat. That was a real change.
All of his data, which he knew to trust unconditionally and whose accuracy was beyond reproach, was tweaked. After all, he had artificial intelligence on his side. He had corrected for a decimal place here, a pixel there--Voila! We were so wrong all these years, he huffed to himself. About so many things. There was a new wind a'blowin'.
Perhaps this new flat Earth's exploration needed a new manifest destiny. To the edge!
He thought about those conquerors who had gotten too close. Where were they now? Had their expansionist ambitions pushed them over?
He invoked Revelation 7:1,
“I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back its four winds.”
He invoked geometry:
Three points make a plane; four corners make Earth flat!
Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, and Uriel were our protection from the four winds--Boreas from the North; Zephyrus, the West; Notus, the South; and Eurus, the East.
He knew that winds, however favorable, abruptly turn. Fair winds can foul as capriciously as ill winds can lose their stench. Things can change. So could people.
He invoked Dylan:
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the winds blow."
He worshipped his world of breaking news and saw winds of change. From Monarchy to Democracy, to Aristocracy, to Autocracy, to Theocracy, to Divine Right Authority and the Idiocracy who prayed at its altar.
He invoked his erstwhile philosopher, Sumus Cocoonus:
"Sometimes a democracy just gets what it duly deserves."
Is it really about truth and justice and the American way? he wondered. Really, Superman? What would Nietzsche say? Was his Übermensch born under a red sun, too?
He considered the kings who had risen and fallen. Societies that had experimented wildly. The good-idea revolutions. And the many suffering persecution for justice's sake. Did any get their kingdom of Heaven?
He knew his history.
Some made it in 1776. All in one day. Others abroad took what they had and let their systems either mellow or sour, via revolt or complacency. Some change and get along; some don't. Many can never.
But then, he realized, a democracy just gets what it wants before it gets what it deserves. We can shove anyone who disagrees off to the side until they teeter on the edge. Live square or die!
"Such righteousness, on our good, flat Earth," he shouted triumphantly, "is in the Bible! It's Divine Right! How could we lose?"