Consequences

How did I end up here? At the near brink of death? How, after everything I put myself through to prevent it, did I find myself in this situation? With the one that I loved, the only one left in this world who still cares for me, dead; and it was all my fault.

I did everything I could to keep her safe. I eliminated myself from world view, became something I never dreamt of becoming. I killed for her. And by doing all of this I had killed myself, all so she could be safe, but instead I was the one who brought death upon her. Because of my actions she will never breathe again. She will never be in my arms again. I will never see her again.

"Arghhhh!" I scream into the air, pounding my fists into the brick will with rage and anguish. Over and over, I slam my knuckles into the wall, because I would rather feel the pain of bricks breaking my skin and hot blood drenching my hands than the pain that wreaks havoc inside of my heart. The pain and sorrow and rage and hate for myself that tears me apart on the inside.

I will never love again.