Passions
Eudemonia. What a beautiful, elusive word. The Ancient Greek masters of Stoicism believed true happiness is the highest human good. We've been chasing it ever since. Some claim they've even caught it. The problem is we've all been defining it differently, and those who claim to have achieved this virtuous enlightenment tend to be lying, albeit unknowingly.
We all want to be happy, don't we? Well, what is happiness? Some answer that question as if you had asked them what they would do if they won the lottery. Well, happiness is living in my dream house, buying whatever I want, and doing whatever I want. I wouldn't necessarily say they're wrong, either. It's easier to be happy without the burden of debt and scarcity handing over your head.
The Stoics would have a much more intellectual answer. Happiness is peaceful contentment. Eudemonia is achieved by speaking philosophically and rejecting earthly pleasures. I think that's an old relic from an ancient world that has long since died along with the philosophers. They didn't have exorbitant student loans or an ever-rising culture of consumption that makes the basic functions of life impossibly expensive. I don't envy their lack of running water and electricity, though, so I guess it evens out.
They believed that there was great virtue in a passionless life. There's a place for impulse and spontaneity, for the irreplaceable joy that passion brings. Yet these so-called masters lived boxed into a rigid world built around logic and scorning these passions, which they classified as failures of reason leading to corrupt, deceptive forces. Inaccurately evaluating people, objects, and moments as good or evil is what leads us astray. They're right, to a point — but we weren't all put on this earth to follow a single path.
Delight, lust, and anxiety are mortal sins to the Stoics. I say to lean into the things you feel. Sure, apply some reason to your decision-making. But don't go through life without allowing yourself your favorite meal or feeling your lover's touch. Don't shy away from anxiety and fear. Lean into it. Dig deep to figure out why your body is drawn to certain impulses rather than just stifling them. Only then can you truly overcome them.
I believe there's nothing more natural than passion. The Stoics believed we had to return to nature, but nature isn't stoic. Nature is rough and rugged and raw. Nature is the lion sinking its teeth into the antelope's flesh and two lovers with limbs intertwined. Nature is both the expression and reasonable inhibition of our impulse. It is not to kill all that makes us alive.
Take their advice with a grain of salt. Read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and try to be a better person. Along the way, meditate on how you can find your own definition of happiness. You won't find in it any book, and I would distrust anyone who insists you can. Rent is just getting more expensive, and we are getting ever more distant in this increasingly digital world. So give your loved one a kiss and enjoy that slice of cake every now and then.