disregarded.

worry.

it feels like death.

like butchery, like annihilation, like a massacre.

it feels like gut wrenching diarrhea,

why wont they call back?

"he has 12 hours to live."

it sounds like, an all caps message, "Carrington, brady killed himself."

it feels like choking, like suicide, suicide, it feels like leaving, it feels like loneliness, it feels like they left.

it feels like your own breath in the back your neck, like gentle hands slapping you across the face, hard enough to knock you out.

it feels like pissing yourself in public,

like the dreaded "i have to talk to you."

it feels like that time you slit your wrists too deep, when you found every chair in your house stacked in the middle of your kitchen, when you got home and found the house empty.

it feels like giving up.

like the air has been sucked from your lungs.

it feels like 7 different antidepressants.

it is undeniable, and it is scary.its what it feels like to lose everything you've ever cared about in a matter of seconds.