Otto’s Goblin Adventure Pt. 3

Kazimir followed through the door and returned moments later was now in possession of a massive hammer made of alabaster colored wood. It was pretty in its own right, but not the most beautiful to look upon. Not long after he was transported to the middle of the room, an ugly cocophany of sounds was now assaulting our ears. We looked upon each other as we made our way to the mouth of the cave. We were certain we weren't alone. We all rushed to the mouth of the cave and saw a figure standing by the fire. I couldn't tell anything about it, but I could tell it was roughly a humanoid with a normal, rather short for a humanoid. They were staring at the fire, best as I could tell, entranced by it. Huasir stared at it, the dim light gleaming in his dark lizard eyes.

"She's been branded as well." Huasir called out to us.

"The more the merrier!" I shouted as a response before coming out to the fire.

"M-my name is Huasir." The lizard grumbled. She smiled and introduced herself as Ena. It was a strange name, but not too strange.

"My name's Otto, pleased to meet you!" I said as cheery as can be, the bells on my cap bouncing in response. She smiled as she extended her hand and I shook it. Struck me as not the kind of person to be wandering caves, but I didn't opt to think about it too much. Huasir sat on the ground and produced a worn dagger in his scaly hands, expertly working a small piece of wood. Korus and Corvo sat next to the fire, the flames reflecting in their heavy armor. She turned to us all and introduced herself as Ena of House Lionheart.

Seeing another noble in our group, I took her by the hand.

"Come here, I've just got to show you these torches. They're most unlike any you've ever seen before. They burn, and they don't." I said as I led her to the massive cavern. I stopped in the middle and we just stared at the torch. It burned brightly as if it had the purest pitch, but none of the wood was burned.

"If we can take these, and tie them in a line to a swallow, we could take them to the castle for sale. Of course it may just burn a peasant hut or two down, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." She looked horrified. Part of me found her discomfort pleasing, funny.

"I'm not willing to make THAT sacrifice. What of the peasants?" She said, astounded. I smiled at her as I waved her off.

"They're very resilient creatures. Next to the cockroaches that is. Of course, that said the two creatures seem to go hand in hand." Ena looked like she wanted to scream, eyes horrified. I fought myself to not laugh in her face as I continued this little prank.

"They're people! Not cockroaches." I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, they're humans, but not like us. They're filthy creatures and should you ever find yourself in one's home, you'll find that they exist in a very different state than you'd ever believe. You wouldn't be the first noble child to hold such delusions, need to see it for yourself to believe it."

"Yes, grandma." I was confused.

"I'm not your grandmother." Confusion now replacing the hilarity of the situation.

"I wasn't talking to you." She said as she began marching towards the door at the end of the cavern. I watched her open the door and disappear into the inky blackness behind the door. I shook my head as I sat down against the wall, as pulled my cards out. Another game of solitaire, and we may very well leave this damned wet place. A few minutes later the others came out of the cave and we started to tumble back towards town. Huasir produced a board made of dark and light wood in a checker pattern.

"Anyone wanna play some dragon chess?" The lizard said.

"Well, I wouldn't mind playing your game, if you could teach me." I said. I tried as best as I could to keep up with his moves, but he was a much better player than I was. He gave me a bit of advice to console me, but I wasn't feeling up to trying again. Lady Tymora was not smiling upon my efforts for games. Especially since I had 4 hands of poker and lost terribly at all of them. That pale cleric is a shoein for cards. I'm going to have to take him to the tavern with me. As the cart plodded along, I had quite an idea. To hold a concert to cover our expenses for the night.

Kazimir was able to help quite a bit with a few supporting spells. Corvo decided to join me on stage as we played our mandolins. Minor illusion was able to produce a drum beat to help the performance quite easily. It went splendidly. The music swelled to a crescendo combined with the overall roar of the crowd. The village guard formed a line in front of the crier's stage to prevent the crowd from bumrushing us. I jumped into the crowd as the song came to an end. The feeling was immense as I felt them hold me up, their chants. I jumped from the crowd to head back to the stage, as I did so I stuck out my tongue waving it to and fro. Many women fainted as I did so. I picked two of the women from the crowd, but more joined. First four, then six. Finally 8. The each grabbed a limb and carried me to the tavern, to a suitably large room. As we crossed the threshold to the tavern, we were stop by the wide eyed barkeep.

"You're not all-" He exclaimed. He was cut off by the women's giggles. We did much that night that I couldn't dictate here, nor would I wish to remember. However, night was not long enough for the women as they continued the activities. The morning after was quite the ordeal, with the ladies wishing to continue for the next few hours. I fought as I could, begged and with the help of Corvo and his Cape of Many Fashions, I was able to escape the cackling group. My body was hardly able to move as we made it back to the tavern. Even with a bout or two of Cure Wounds, I was able to return to normal. Bernard and his wife made a stew, the heavy bags beneath their eyes told more of a tale than they ever could.

"Seven hours. It lasted seven hours." He grumbled. I reached into Kazimir's alms bucket and thrust a fist full of silver to him. We'd managed to acquire 2,000 silver. Huasir opted not to take his 400 silver, but rather a paltry sum of 100 silver. Leaving for the other 4 of us a nice addition of 175 silver. It took us 3 hours to gather ourselves and our things. I climbed into the cart, unrolling the bedroll and laying down. I ignored the snickering of the others behind me as I slept.