Slans!
Allen sees a bunch of people staring at him, sitting in a circle.
"come in and sit down." said a man sitting at the head of a circle.
Allen was still out of breath from ditching the cops. "ok" he said, not having any other options. He sits down and looks at all the other people sitting in the circle. The man looks at Allen and says, "what's your name, young man?"
Allen, not sure what he just stumbled upon said, "my name is Allen."
Suddenly everyone in the group said in unison, "Hi Allen."
Allen thought maybe he had stumbled upon a AA meeting, not so bad, it could be worse. Allen figured he would just sit it out and play along.
A man around his same age started talking to the group, "My wife doesn't seem to understand why I want to castigate myself. She just doesn't understand me."
The man leading the group said, "It's hard coming out of the closet, we all are experiencing that. It's important what you want, not her."
Another man chimed in and said, "I can tell you were supposed a Slan! We are born to be slans!"
A lady started crying, "my husband doesn't understand my need to be castrated. I am also supposed to be a slan! I just feel it! "
Allen tried not to look shocked, castrated! Like in removing his best friend?"
What the hell is going on in this room! A woman castrated? What was a slan?
The man leading the group looked at Allen, "How did you hear about our group? Did you come to chop night to become a Slan too?"
Before Allen could answer a group of people walked in carrying what looked like medical cases. "Ah! Looks the the carvers are here!" said the lead man.
People started cheering and one man started a chant, "come cut it off, come cut it off!" Others joined in with the chant.
Allen stood up without a word and bolted for the door, yelling "Cops, I'm right here!"