Heart’s Locket

Through time the nightmare haunts her, and pursues her relentlessly.

Tuesday, July 9th, 2033, 2:45 am

Dear Diary,

I simply have to tell you about a dream that I had, one that I have not had since childhood. For whatever reason, it found its way through my mind and came at me from another direction. Perhaps the nightmares really do live our closets. While I sit here writing, a shiver washes over me as I cannot help but keep one eye on the closet now that my attention is drawn to it. It’s as if the dream possesses some quality to walk through a doorway in my mind now that I am an adult from when I was a child.

“What’s that locket?”, the dream always begins. A little boy sitting across from me asks the same question every time. I look down at my necklace and see the light caught inside of it which dazzles my eyes with rainbows. The deep sapphire eye of the little crystal dragon seems to ask me, “What’s that locket?” I look down at my locket, but now it is a deep red ruby on a bright golden chain wrapped with shinning silver strand. But then I notice that I am sitting on the ground, and all around me is red dirt, dead trees, and a falling sunset.

Must I still be dreaming? I think to myself. Surely this cannot be real. Certainly this is what my mind creates when I eat too much red meat. At least that’s what dad says. But if I am dreaming why can I count my fingers? Why can I feel the air? I squint. The gritty sound of dirt blowing along the ground and against the dry bark rustles everywhere. Dead twigs snap loudly beneath my feet as I walk aimlessly. Startled, I look down and stumble, nearly sobbing.

What did I do? Where am I? “This cannot be a dream.” I said, stammering, my teeth loudly chattering in my skull. It is not cold, but I shivered nonetheless. Grasping the ruby pendant, I plunge noisily through the dead forest, crashing my way through drifts of dead leaves.

Hours upon hours go by, and the noise from the leaves is deafeningly loud. The forest has grown into a pitch black nothingness, a void beyond voids. Without warning, I walk into something hard and fall backwards. Laying on what seems to be something solid, a sound of clinking in the distance catches my attention. I see a small light, as tiny as could be. Is it far away or very small? Perhaps I am great big now? “Hello? Who is there?” I shout, but my voice doesn’t travel far, maybe only a few feet. The sound of my voice falls short as the words fly out of my mouth and are absorbed into the nothingness around me. And still the little light comes nearer and nearer, ever so slowly. It must be very far away...

“Don’t let him take it.”

I thought the words might have been memories, they were so far away when I heard them. “Wait! COME BACK!” I shout, but the little light is so far away my words will never reach it. The little light, shining brightly very very far away, blinks several times, fades, and then vanishes entirely. I cry to myself in silence, deep in that dark place. “WHERE AM I?!” I plead to the void, ‘Where is everyone?’ I whimper.

Without realizing I was falling, my hair fluttered about me, dashing this way and that as it was caught on the wind. A grayness rushed towards me with astonishing speed without coming any nearer. Suddenly, I remembered my pendant. It pulled at my neck horribly and cut deeply into my skin. I grasped for the ruby pendant, but it was caught in my hair, tangled and painfully getting tighter by the moment. I could not reach it. Panic filled me as the grayness rushed at me with blinding ferocity, yet never coming closer. Choking, I could not wake.

“What’s that locket?” I hear whispered in my ear with a depth and coldness deeper than the sea and colder than the void, shattering my soul.

For a very brief moment I succumb to the tearing at my throat. An urge builds within me. A compulsion grips my mouth. My lips form a shape, and then I pause. Broken by the hesitation I scream, flailing my arms wildly. “NO! NO! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The darkness surrounds me once more and I am comforted by the silence.

I look around, but there is only void beyond void with no hope of escape. I look around once more for the little light, but even this does not exist any longer. I am alone. At least no one can take my locket. I think to myself as I reach for it. Feeling its weight is reassuring, its cold hardness is comforting. Rubbing my neck I feel the deep gash left by…

But what happened? I do not remember any longer. Something happened that caused me pain, but whatever happened is gone now. I am alone in my void, gently caressing my locket. I am glad for the cold hardness that it possesses.

And then I wake from the dream. How terrible a dream! It would devastate me as a child, but now, it only terrifies and perplexes me. Maybe there is an answer to the conundrum in the closet? So strange that the dream would come back to me now, this night. There on my bed, under the covers lays someone I care for deeply, so deeply. I care for him more and more as the days go by, but I am uncertain what I should do. Maybe he is not the right one for me? Maybe he is going to betray me? Maybe I need to look for some signs somewhere else. I am terrified to ask him what he thinks of me. I think he would tell me if he cared as much as I do for him. I will let events unfold, yes, that seems to be the correct course of action. I should let things be and not upset the balance. But then what? What if he leaves me anyways?

That’s it then, I will end things with him. I care deeply for him, and I don’t want to hurt him more, so I won’t let the situation progress. That’s the right course of action.

I have to protect him from myself.