Part 23

Both nodded.

Upon hearing their names I remembered them again. Lily and Matilda, or Tilda I suppose, were some of Mother’s maids. They and Bethany and a few others were responsible for his daily preparations. They helped him bath, dress, do his hair, and do his makeup.

They were his handmaids. I had some as well, as did my father and brother and uncles and cousins. They were bright-eyed young girls, barely older than I was. They were not in charge of bathing me just yet. My older maids and nanny did that, but they would always help brush and style my hair and titter about which of my dresses I should wear.

They were always well-versed in the current fashions and what colors and styles I would look best in. I had three, and they could have been triplets for all I knew. All of them had big dark doe eyes with shiny black hair that fell to their knees or mid-back. They always wore their hair in buns on the back or sides of their heads and wore the same red eyeshadow on the corner of their eyelids and the same pink hue on their lips every day. Noa, Mio, and Sora. I wonder if they were still here?

“So for now, let's not bother the little princess too much. I’ll finish up with her here, the two of you go run along and find something to help out with.”

Lily and Tilda nodded and curtseyed. First to me and then to Bethany, before they scampered on out, tittering on about more hairstyles they thought I would look darling in.

“I'm sorry about them, little one.” Bethany directed her attention back to me, “They’re just excited. Everyone is.”

She continued brushing my hair out, gently carding it through the tangles and waves of my chestnut hair.

“About what?” My voice was still so foreign sounding to me. It was quiet and unsure, shaky even. I still half-believed it wasn't mine.

Bethany was smiling at me through the mirror as she put the brush down and started to braid my hair into one thick braid. “About you.”

We stared at each other for a moment, and she paused when she realized I was still confused.

“You haven't done much these past few months princess, well. No, that sounded wrong. Apologies, let me try again.”

She took a moment to think, muttering to herself as she started braiding my hair again.

“It's been nearly five months since… Sir Lionel arrived. You know that right?”

I nodded slowly. I knew she didn't mean just since Sir Lionel arrived, but I was thankful she avoided saying it all the same.

“And that's a long time, right?”

I nodded again. Mother always said that the winter passed by slowly during its nearly six-month reign over our lands. We were a mountain kingdom, far away from the sea and high up in the region, so winter was long and the year was often cold.

“Well during the first two months, you slept. For nearly the whole two months.”

Had it been that long? That whole time seemed like a blur, but I suppose by the time I came it was fully winter.

“Fall was just about halfway through when Lionel got here, and you slept through the rest of it and the start of winter. And then you were…''She pauses again, unsure of how to go on “You weren't well. You were very sick. I couldn't move or speak. You could barely sit up or eat or drink on your own. Sometimes it seemed like you were barely awake at all. You were like that for almost three months.”

She finished the braid and met my eyes through the mirror again. “Then just recently you started to move on your own. Sir Lionel was so excited that you were sitting up in bed by yourself and that you were eating and drinking again. He would tell us every day about how much you ate and where you took your lunch that day and how you were no longer crying in your sleep every night.” she stops again, taking a deep shuddering breath, had I still been looking at her through the mirror I might have seen the tears that she wiped quickly from her eyes. “And then just last night you left the bed all and then this morning you started talking.

Talking! I didn't believe it when Tilda told me, even when Lionel practically went on a joyful rampage about the palace to announce it to everyone. And then you spoke! I heard it, you asked for your clothes!”

I was playing with the sleeve’s hem, tucking my hand into the to-big sleeve and pulling some of the extra length into it, thumbing gently over the fabric.

“You’re finally getting better. And we’re all very happy about it, little princess.”

“I'm sorry for worrying everyone.”

I don't think it was what any of them had wanted to hear, but it was all I could think to say.

“We all understand, of course. We were all here when it happened. I… I saw that horrible room, I know you saw it. I wish I could have stopped you from seeing it.”

I couldn't say anything to that. I don't know if I wanted to have not seen it, I don't think I would have understood otherwise.

“And I… I know what his majesty tried to do, what he did. But-”

She was crying now, standing behind me and trying her best not to.

“He tried to do it because he couldn't… He didn't think he was strong enough to be alone. And He didn't want you to suffer either, so he tried to bring you both to the rest of them. And I know he regrets it, I know that if he had known that you would still be here then he would be here too. He wouldn't have left you alone willingly. He was scared, scared that you were going to suffer at the hands of that man-'' she spat the words out venomously, she meant my grandfather I think, “And he didn't want that for you. He wanted your family to be together in the land beyond here, and he wouldn't have left you here on purpose.”

I think I was crying again. I can't tell anymore I think, like my eyes have gone numb to the feeling of crying from all the tears that I’ve spilled these past five months. Somewhere in the back of my mind recently I had been angry. My mother had left me here, to be alone. My father and brothers and uncles had fought to stay with me, to stay alive, but he had come running to me and then took himself away just as quickly. I could have had him still. I wouldn't have been alone.

“Why is she crying?” Lionel must have entered the room while we were talking, “Is something wrong? Is she hurt again? What's happening?”

“I think she's just tired.” Bethany said instead of an explanation, “Did you bring her something to eat?”

“Yes. The chef suggested this tea for her throat and voice and made some of her favorite pastries to celebrate and also a sandwich.'' He held the tray he was holding a little higher. “Do the two of you need another moment?”

“No, I’m done with what you wanted me to do.” she squeezed my shoulder and leaned over me to grab a small tie for my hair, while doing so she whispered “I know it must feel like he left you, but he truly loved you and he wouldn't have left if he knew you would be alone here.”