Slipping Positively

What can I say? Children come and go. Mother, I am not, but my experience mothering almost nullifies the statement.

"Auntuncle Zee?" Baboon asks, somehow standing taller than me. She somehow still looks up to me.

"Yeah, honey girl?" I respond, not used to the passage of time. No amount of time can get you used to the unknowns of growing.

"Did the job call you back?" She asks innocently enough.

"Yes, honey girl. Do not fret about Auntuncle, some things never change." I state back.

"Grandpa was talking about how you're already supposed to have a job, though," Another excellent innocent statement. An astute observation.

"I have a job right now." I love this game.

"What job? Since when?" Her sweet little face frinkles in confusion.

"Auntuncle. Full time, since... when was your oldest sister born?"

"Jordan, I think he means a real job. You haven't even met Cassandra, so she wouldn't count."

"Am I not adding value and depth to your life through lessons, child? Whom else has a dearest Auntuncle?" My query is perfectly valid. To answer a question with a question is uncouth, and yet - the situation called for a question.

It's how I teach.

"Um... I guess you are, I don't think any other people have an Auntuncle," Her disappointed face is painful to me. Pivot, support the child, the next generation.

"Yeah... you definitely don't have four sisters who share the same Auntuncle." My quip, borne as natural as it's materialistic equipment.

"I fo- I was just asking if you got a job because Grandpa told me to bother you about it, and ask if you needed help looking," The frustration grows on sweet Baboon's face. I love this game.

"Niecey, didst thou not just forget four blood siblings? Methinks thou may require work on your presence of mind. Your presents are your siblings - mightst thou find them, as opposed to helping Auntuncle find a job? Find the siblings, find the power to help Auntuncle. Yeah?"

"I'm really not understanding you right now, Zee." Her face is perfectly confused.

"Yeah. That is the full-time job of an Auntuncle, honey girl. To be confusing."

I can't explain to her how I am even more confused than she is. My confusion starts at the sight of her. She used to be a third of my height. I used to carry her on my shoulders. I used to ask her if she needed help. I'm so proud of her for growing.

Children have such a bizarre hate for reminders that they are loved. Who is confusing who? Is this job not mutually symbiotic?

They tickle my brain and demolish my heart, daily, to make space for more love.

What is confusing about that? Let my brain slip into the fast-paced reality of life. Blink once, miss a school play.

Blink twice, miss an entire life.

Blink three times, Dorothy, and you'll always end up back home.

I'm confused how that cycle could ever be seen as a negative backslide.

Is that not life?

"I'm going to go outside and do some work, then, I guess...?" Her small voice cuts through my thoughts, I must have spaced out.

"Yes! Auntuncle lesson. Go enjoy your slice of life on our shared plot of land, child!" I boom out from my heart and soul to her.

"Um. Okay. I'm gonna have Grandpa spend time with you for... to... I think Grandpa was going to hang out with you anyways," Walking away, I see her slipping out of my life just as easily as before. We're all only a move away from a negative slip.

How positive, life can be what we make of it.

How I wish my wonderful family could understand the vision I try to share!