35, Still alive.
It's really been quite the ride
Not to sound so defeated,
Sorry Ma, but I tried.
We were placed here to do
Something God can't decide
So like ducks in a pond
We drift tethered to Time.
35, Still alive,
With a thorn in my side.
These decrepit old bones
Struggle catching a stride.
While the taxes of youth
Catch up quicker each time.
All these years chasing dreams
But can't sleep through the night. ..
35, still alive:
Keep it mostly inside,
Honest words are too harsh
So I'll nursery rhyme,
And placate my sadness
For the people in line,
Hold the door for a stranger
But close my mouth when I smile.
35. still alive.
Death's not ours to decide.
I've checked out once or twice,
But I'll be here awhile.
A ripe age once was this,
I should soak up the time.
It's not that I'm ungrateful,
Truth is, I'm just tired.
35 still alive,
Like to call it a wrap...
Don't love much of anything
'cept for my cat.
Think I've held enough heavy today
For a nap
But somehow I still feel
Too guilty for that.
35. Still alive...
Guess it won't be so bad...
Should I find myself ancient
With wits still intact.
But mostly I rise
To this cold sense of dread
Like a blanket that's
Strapping me down to my bed.
35. Still alive.....
Guess I'll put on my pants....
There's an ape on my back
But this monkey can dance!
Though his methods
Are commonly misunderstood,
Every once in a while
He coughs up something good.
35, still alive,
And I'm having a ball,
The people I love
Still don't know me at all.
I've so much to live for
and that much is true,
Another thirty-five years
to feel just like I do.
35, still alive.
I hear it only gets worse.
I don't mean to sound dark,
I was born with this curse.
But it doesn't sound
Nearly as morbid to me,
It just sounds just like a long quiet ride
In a Hearse.
35. Still alive....
It's just hard to have heart.
I know I'm not the only one
falling apart.
I know there's so many ways
It could be worse than this
And somehow that makes it feel worse
Than it is.
35 still alive,
But who carries the weight?
And how come the work
never feels like it pays?
Sometimes I know
I'm the one in the way,
But nobody else
Knows my mountain like me.
35, still alive,
What's the reason for more?
When each days made to hurt us
Much worse than before,
We scrape to carve out
A small place to feel whole,
While we reach for a purpose
We still can't afford.
35 still alive:
Another day above ground.
Another day to pack all this
Old luggage around,
It's funny they say
"That's a lot to unpack"
Turns out some things we say
aren't meant to take back.
35 Still alive,
Another day in the boots.
They've walked me all over this town
I'd assume,
We've wandered our way
through each dark Greasy Spoon
But they're heavier
Every next day around noon.
35. Still alive.
Just day in the life
Held this whole room together
More than just once or twice
Kept a guy off the ledge
And for once, wasn't me!
Now I've seen enough life
For one lifetime, I think.
35. still alive;
Guess you can't save 'em all.
Every now and then Someone's
Gotta take the ol' fall.
And it seems a long way
But it happens so fast....
Turns out some will have love
Or choose nothing at all.
35 Still alive:
We're the ones left behind,
The one's buying your drink
Once you've spent your last dime.
The one's singing your songs
From this world to the next
So you don't feel so alone
As you did when you left.
35. Still alive.
I won't do that to you.
I've had thirty five years
to think all of it through.
And I never found pleasure
In breaking a heart,
So I'll patch mine together
Once more for the troops.
35. Still alive:
Another year in the books
And it's really not always
as bad as it looks.
I'll shake off the damage
as best as I can
And I'll get myself put back
together again.
35 still alive.
Though we've lost some good folks,
I carry them with me
Each place that I go,
In my small sacred objects
And totems alike,
Hope they might help me see
Every time I lose sight.
35 still alive.
Thought that I wouldn't be,
If you knew what I know
Then you'd know what I mean,
But I've earned enough luck
To protect me thus far,
Think I'll waste it on
Drowning my day at the bar.
35. Still alive!
I was meant for big things!
At least, that's what they told
Gifted children like me,
But most days I wake up
Just a regular guy,
Pissed off that I'm not
living up to the hype.
35. Still alive,
I'm the talk of the town,
Either place "best in show"
Or the "worst all-around"
Maybe I ought to think
About hangin' it up
But then how would I live
With whatever was left?
35, Still Alive....
Guess I fucked up last time.
Got ahead for a minute,
Then, fell back behind.
I'd be a stray dog
If a grave were a tail
Now I've run myself 'round
To the end of the trail.
35 still alive.
I should clean up my act.
Thought by now I'd be worth
Some more Money than that.
Dug a pretty good hole
In between every check,
Good thing when I go
There won't be nothin' left.
35, still alive,
But I don't mean to gripe,
I just really thought that
There'd be more to this life,
Than a task to complete,
or a thing you can buy,
or a debt to pay off
by the time that you die.
35 still alive,
Feel like taking a drive.
this place wants to kill me,
can't believe I survived.
Made it thirty-five years
And have nothing to show,
Not sure I can take
Living thirty-five more.
35 still alive.
And I'm lucky I am,
but there's something still
Chafing me now and again,
So I feed my two wolves
While I'm counting my sheep,
In hopes they'll devour
the damn thing that eats me.
35 still alive.
Make it all go away...
Every time that I left though,
I wished that I'd stayed...
I met grandpa death
Once or twice you could say,
Hell, we even shook hands
But it wasn't my day.
35 still alive,
Like a hole in a tooth.
Now I'm out of the red
but I don't leave the blue.
Still limping my way
Towards the top of the heap,
With a lot more to chew on
and less I can eat.
35 still alive.
Thought it might be my year.
There's got to be something else
Keeping me here,
Besides blood in the sink
And the grit on the mirror
Where I watch myself fade
And one day disappear.
35. Still alive
But where'd all of it go?
I have stop-motion mem'rys
Like angels in snow.
You can't turn back a clock
With some words on a page
And a memory just doesn't
Buy much nowadays.
35. Still alive.
Would I do it again?
Truth is, I wouldn't be here
If not for my friends,
And I'd trade the whole world
With a wide ocean view
To go back to the moments.
I met each of you.
35. Still alive.
Though it could be our last
Know that I'd never leave you
Without one parting glass.
And a poem about
hanging on to our peace
In world that's promised us nothing
But grief.
35. still alive.
It's my birthday today....
If only I had
something better to say,
What happens from here,
I'll leave up to the fates:
What the tide wants to bring...
What the tide wants to take.