Retirement

“Mortimer! You can’t just keep chomping down on ice cream like nothing’s happening?” “Sure I can, I’ve only got a few months left till retirement, why should I care?” “Because I doubt they’ll even grant it to you if you don’t nab those thugs.” The sound of a toilet flushing. His partner Pepe emerged from the police station bathroom and strolled over to Mortimer’s desk, where he had his feet up while indulging in a sweet vanilla ice cream in a glass cup. He clicked the TV remote, with an exaggerated grimace. “End of shift, catch you later,” he said, leaving nonchalantly. The TV blared news Mortimer wished he could ignore. “We confirm that five different branches of the same bank have been hit simultaneously. The masked bandits have made off with the loot, thanks to hostages that have left our police forces stumped. The heist has been pinned on the criminal gang known as The Quintuplets, who always strike in five different yet coordinated spots, leaving law enforcement authorities perplexed. Citizens are asking, why can’t our police guardians quell the chaos and...” Mortimer grunted and switched off the TV, annoyed by the report.

Mortimer thought it would be better to turn on the radio instead of the television, as he didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts that were echoing the weight of duty too loudly in his head. The old radio in his drawer remained there, undisturbed by the events unfolding in the evening darkness. “And now, we present to you the new hit from the Korean band composed of five brothers. Which one is your favorite? Let’s hear what their fans have to say about this band of quintuplets.” “No, not more quintuplets! Leave me alone!” Mortimer exclaimed, turning off the radio.

“Sir, we have identified additional individuals for interrogation. There are five actual quintuplets with a history of supermarket theft,” said Ronald, one of the officers.

“Are you serious, Ronald? Just because they’re called ‘the quintuplets’ doesn’t mean they’re actual siblings, they’re just a group of five. We shouldn’t be looking for real brothers, that won’t give us the answer,” Mortimer dismissed the idea.

“Tomorrow, we’ll be more refreshed. Let’s finish today’s shift and let the night shift take over,” Mortimer insisted.

“But...” Ronald tried to argue.

“There are no valid ‘buts’ in this situation,” Mortimer said firmly, asserting the authority he had granted himself, and he headed toward the subway to return home.

To avoid spending time with his inner self, Mortimer decided to pull out his mobile phone and start playing a monster and dungeon-themed RPG game. Despite his advanced age, he was an avid fan of video games and easily passed the first levels of the daily missions. “Here comes the boss,” he thought.

That day’s boss was the Lernaean Hydra, a creature with five heads, and its special move was splitting into five quintuplets of itself. “Oh, come on! It has to be a joke. They’re haunting me everywhere I go,” Mortimer complained, abruptly turning off the screen and losing the game immediately.

Suddenly, everything became blurry around Mortimer, and he woke up in his bed, disoriented and drenched in cold sweat. “Oh, it was just a dream, a nightmare, really. I don’t understand why quintuplets kept chasing me,” he muttered to himself.

“Grandpa, Grandpa! Wake up! You promised to play with us today!”

“Yeah, Grandpa! I want to go iguana fishing!”

“No! He said we would brush my dolls’ hair together and shave their heads with his razor!”

“He won’t be doing any of that because first he has to help me with my math homework. I don’t understand how this works! It says here, ‘How many candies are left if I’m given six and I’ve already eaten two?’ I don’t have any left because Mom only lets me eat two a day!”

“Grandpa, why are you looking at us like that? Come on, cheer up! You’re almost retired, and then we can always be together forever! Won’t that be great?”

And Mortimer understood why.