IT SUCKS.

The past few years have been hellish for me and a couple of my friends. When we finished Uni, it was as if we had resurfaced from a long dive, deprived of the air we desperately craved for for the past 4 years. A renewed sense of self washed over us as the crippling anxiety of ‘what now’ awaited a few weeks into ‘the new era’.

Our last day in Uni was bliss. My best friends and I went out for some food and drinks to celebrate what we felt had been the most time consuming waste of our young lives. Later that evening, we parted. A week later, each one of us started realizing how lonely we were, and clueless about life. We had been applying for jobs but with no graduation and papers we had to wait till December to acquire any sensible opportunities, this was in the beginning of February.

I got an internship position that I immediately embraced for order. Living at home, having the unpaid internship was exactly what I felt at the time, was perfect. 4 months in I insisted on a stipend which the boss man agreed to reluctantly. A few more months in, I knew I was lost.

Here is my point, I left that job last year, and I have never been happier. My friends have also had to endure impossible working conditions to keep a job. When I think about my new resolution, I get scared and excited. Writing brings me joy, it comes to me. I hope my friends do have the courage to do the same, you know, pursue something they love, despite the fear.

One of them has, Teaching French kids English. She hopes to do her masters in Belgium, but it is not going as smoothly with finances. I keep telling her, ‘it’s better than the alternative sweetie’, she tells me the same. I hope that keeps her going, it does for me.

At times, life feels a turd ungrateful for all we put out into the universe, but that sense of entitlement has never been rewarding. I guess the best we can do is our level best, then hope that what we put out will be put back. You know, karma and all that.