If Wishes Were Horses...
Call it water-cooler talk. Office banter. Idle chat.
Whenever such conversation in my workplace turned to current events, one of my colleagues would eventually opine that the world would work better if everybody did something his or her way. Or believed as he or she did.
That’s when Paul would always chip in and mangle that old proverb, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” His intent – to tell us that just wishing or hoping for something ain’t gonna make it so – was there, but his words came out different every time:
“If wishes were horses, beggars would be choosers.”
“If wishes were horses, beggars would gather no moss.”
“If wishes were horses, beggars would cry over spilled milk.”
A few of us would chuckle over his confused proverbs. And occasionally someone would correct him: “Paul, it’s ’beggars would ride!” He would nod, and the conversation would resume.
But much later, I began to wonder if Paul was not just a proverb butcher, but a workplace philosopher in the proverbial sense.
For instance:
“If wishes were horses, beggars would be choosers.” If the world was overpopulated with horses like the continuous flood of wishes, all humans, including the poor, would have their pick of ponies, stallions, thoroughbreds, you name it.
“If wishes were horses, beggars would gather no moss.” What was Paul thinking, trying to merge “If wishes were horses were horses beggars would ride” with “A rolling stone gathers no moss.” However, maybe he was onto something. If there were so many horses in the world, poor people would always have one to ride incessantly. But this comes with a downside (always traveling means no time to put down roots or make friends) and an upside (no responsibilities), describing the result of “gathering no moss.”
“If wishes were horses, beggars would cry over spilled milk.” Beggars might lament all the horses that overpopulated the world, causing food shortages and an environmental crisis.
So, if wishes were horses, maybe Paul was right.