Hades very bad, not good day

“Name?” He asked, voice more stern than he intended to be, he was just so fucking tired.

The sprit of a middle aged woman looked timidly up at him as he sat behind his desk filled to the brim with papers of inboxes and what had been processed.

“Uhh Laura?”

“Laura what?” He said more sharply than intended, he was just exhausted.

She felt her eyes well up. “Laura Elizabeth Watson. Where am I? Am I in hell?”

He sighed, looking at her paper. She wasn’t the first Christian to pass though, on this part of the world he handled the underworld, which was a shock to many people, especially Atheists.

Catholics and Christans were always the most shocked when their time came and it was not Jesus Christ but Thanatos who led them to the afterlife, but Hades always made sure to send them where they needed to go according to their religion and beliefs.

He got her paper and sighed. “No, you are not in Hell, simply the underworld. We’ll get you where you need to go.”

He looked over her paper, confirming her name, age, and other basic background. He came to her judgment that she was a good Christian woman who went to church every Sunday, helped charities, and volunteered at hospitals, no blemish on her life that would condemn her to her God's Hell, or even his own. But that wasn’t for him to judge since she was not one of his believers.

He signed it off that she came through and is to be taken to the angels to be judged by her lord. “Go through that door on the right and you’ll be taken where you belong.”

Laura just nodded shakily, still terrified of the deity before her as she walked away. Hades felt a twinge of guilt at having her walk to the door alone, he normally has someone help but apparently, he did not have enough help and right now all were busy with the mass casualties coming through.

Before the next could come over to him, he spoke. “Laura.”

She stopped, hands shaking as she turned, eyes filled with tears. “Yes?”

“Would you like to know the likelihood of your judgment?”

“Is it allowed?”

“Yes because I am not one of the fates, I hold no guarantee.”

“Yes, please.”

“According to your life’s record of achievements and deeds done, I don’t doubt you will see the heaven you need. But I know how fickle your God can be, if he takes Umbridge with you, come find me and you will get the afterlife you deserve.”

Laura smiled weakly, wiping the tears from her face. “Thank you.” He just gave a nod to her to hurry along. She continued, going through the door down the right hallway, bright light coming through before it closed.

“Next.”

An older man stood before him, a weird sort of arrogance surrounded him.

“I think there’s been a mistake-“

Oh, it’s one of those souls.

Hades both loved and hated getting them, they could be quite the entertainment but his patience was thin as thread.

“I’ve been a good catholic man my whole life, a priest, why am I in hell?”

Hades just glared down at him from his tall desk.

“As arrogant as you are unobservant. If you were listening to the women before you, you would have heard I told her this is not hell but be assured, I can be the devil you fear, name?”

“Henry Richard Taylor, I was a priest, people are gonna-“

“One more word and I’ll feed you to Cerberus. I asked for your name, nothing more.”

The man huffed, somehow having the audacity to be shocked.

Hades looked over his paper, both his anger at this man and satisfaction going up; this man was a sinner, a bad one at that.

Not only did this man actively seek to harm those who were homosexual or just a different culture than him, he was a pedophile, molesting the very kids who were under his care.

“Tell me Henry, why do you not belong in your God's hell?”

“Well I was a priest, a man of God, I worked to uphold his teachings. Who are you if not the devil? How is this not hell? There is only one God-“

Hades just let out a little chuckle.

Henry glared.

Hades just smirked down at him. “Would you like it if I made sure you couldn’t lie?”

“What do you mean? I’m not lying!”

Hades just snapped his fingers and Henry felt a wave of sorts go though him, making him stumble.

“Now, go on and tell me, why don’t you belong in hell?”

“Because I’m a terrible- terri- why can’t I say good?”

“Because you cannot lie. Say all you want to say, we will hear only the truth.”

Henry swallowed, hands starting to shake. “Because I’m a terrible man, I can’t stand those who are different, I use my position to enforce my will onto them.”

“And what about the children you hurt?”

Henry tried to keep his mouth shut but with another snap, words were coming out like vomit. “Because I love to see them squirm in pain, I get off on it.”

Hades just smiled down at him. “See? That wasn’t so bad. Take the door on your left and you’ll be taken to judgment. Next!”

Henry frowned, feeling terrified. “Why not the right? Don’t I get to know how my judgment might be? By my own God?”

“Oh so you paid attention to that? Yes, you would but I know your God is all about redemption and paying for your sins so you can then be welcomed into Heaven. You are currently in my domain and if I deem the sin severe enough I have every right to judge you; regardless of your religious standing. And I do not tolerate the kinds of you.”

Henry was about to beg forgiveness, tears of fear rolling down his face when Hades swished him away with his hand, an invisible force taking Henry away to the pits of Tartarus.

“Next.”

Outside his vision Persephone came walking up, going up the stairs that led to him and his desk that stood more like a podium than a desk. She held a small tray of fruits and cheese. “Hello dear.”

Hades instantly softened upon seeing his queen. “Hello my love, why are you here? You should be resting from your work.”

“As should you.”

Hades sighed, hating she was right but also feeling an immense duty to his job. He has her on a typical work schedule of eight hours to help the dead get to their afterlife, especially children. He got the idea when humans started implementing standardized work hours, he liked the efficiency of it. He had her take her leave two hours ago when those eight hours were up.

“I just wanted to bring you something to eat-“

“We are gods, we don’t need to eat.”

“So? I know you love fruit, even if it doesn’t nourish you.”

He stayed quiet.

She placed the tray on an open area of his desk. “I’ll leave it here and if you feel like it, you can pick at it, alright?”

“Thank you. Now go, enjoy your time off.” He said softly, tilting her head up by her chin gently to kiss her forehead. She smiled sadly and walked back.

Persephone returned and resumed watching the line seem to grow longer and longer, many of the others helping it along, but this earthquake had been particularly devastating, triggering a tsunami after it.

Hades already knew Poseidon was involved, any time he went into an angry fit a tsunami or earthquake followed.

It’s been days since Hades or Thanatos had gotten any kind of break before the disaster happened. And Hades knows his time with her is fleeting, a few more weeks will be spring and she will be with her mother for six months.

She went back to the fireplace, feeling lonely, Cerberus also looked lonely, the three-headed dog lying down, taking a rest from his duties, even laying down they were around five feet in height, standing they neared 10 feet.

Each dog's head whined, having not seen their master in quite some time. She walked over, her dress trailing behind her as she gave them pets on their heads and scratches behind their ears.

“I know, he just has a lot of work to do, I know he’s missing you as-“

Her sentence was cut off by her window breaking and a body tumbling onto the floor before hitting the wall.

Cerberus gave a light growl before seeing they weren’t a threat. Persephone gasped seeing the mess and then seeing the one responsible. “Hemes! What is this? Are you ok?”

She kneeled down to him and he huffed, having flown here as fast as he could. “I’m ok, just lost control.”

She helped him stand up. “You know we do have a door.”

“I was in a rush.”

She sighed. “Why are you here? Is there more help coming to guide the dead?”

Hermes smiled weakly. “Uhh no, unfortunately, just…wanted to…visit you guys. Been a while and been a while since I flew so fast.”

Persephone laughed. “Well, I urge you to use the door next time.” She waved her hand, the glass was repaired and mended and back into the wall where it belonged. “Actually, this is perfect timing, I need your help.”

Hemes grinned. “What do you need your majesty?”

Persephone rolled her eyes. “No need for such formality, we’ve known each other for centuries, Hermes. With the most recent disaster on our part of the world, Hades has been overworked. He hasn’t been home in days, just at his desk working and seeing the souls.”

“Isn’t that his job?” He asked, finger-pointing up.

Persephone softly glared at him. “And?”

Hemes retracted his pointed finger quickly. “Nothing!”

She sighed, frowning and her body softening from the small anger she felt moments ago. “I’m just worried. I’ve tried to help but he won’t let me see to the souls alone, he has me on a work schedule he won’t follow; as the humans say, he’s a workaholic. The souls won’t be going anywhere, they need no food or water, and they are in purgatory; they can wait but he refuses to let them wait. Which I find very sweet and I admire his work ethic but he needs rest.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Hermes asked, confused.

“I want you to try to cheer him up, I hear he's been snappish with the souls and that’s never good and me going to him doesn’t seem to help.”

“Again, what am I supposed to do? You’re his queen, if he won’t listen to you why would he listen to me?”

“Because you're his friend and one of the only friends he has from the surface.”

Hermes stayed quiet, wanting to help but also not wanting to get too involved, especially since he came here to hide from his latest shenanigans.

Persephone smiled at him, starting to push him out the door. “Just do what you do best.”

“Break windows?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, cause a little chaos. Nothing that can’t be undone easily and no harm to anyone. I’m sure even the souls would love to see a little show of you two bickering and joking.”

“But I’m not a God of Chaos, that’s Lokis deal.”

“I know but it seems to follow you regardless.” She said, gesturing to the window he broke.

“But he’s scary.”

She just rolled her eyes. “Oh stop, he’s a big softie and you know damn well. At least get him to eat some of the snacks I brought him.”

Hemes smiled. “Oooh, what kind of snacks?”

“Just some fruit and cheeses, nothing extravagant.”

“I mean, I guess if he really needs cheering up I could go, I mean, what if the cheese goes to waste?”

She rolled her eyes at him again. “Fantastic, just go please.”

Hermes flew out the door, at the speed of a human runner and not the Mach speed he flew through the window with.

He stopped as a sinner was thrown toward Tartarus, able to see it from his spot, the hall that goes to the king's home near the hall he just walked out from.

Hemes walked up as Hades continued to work and talked to the souls and gave them proper judgment or had them go to where they would receive proper judgment from their God. Most of the particularly bad sinners he likes he keep, to make sure they get the full extent of the punishment necessary, regardless of whatever the soul’s religious beliefs might be.

Hemes flew up the few feet of stairs and smiled. “Busy today?”

“Yes.” He said, signing a paper, the soul going through the right hallway door to face their Gods judgment.

Hemes was about to say something when Hades cut him off, talking to the souls. “Next!”

There was the sound of whimpering and sniffles. Hemes and Hades couldn’t see them over the desk. Hades looked over and saw the soul of a child, no older than four years old.

Normally those younger than 13 went to a separate place, but in the case of mass casualties, it’s never been unheard of for a few souls of children to get lost from their destination.

It was a little boy, looking lost and scared.

Hades did what his Queen had been guiding him to do with little souls.

He got up from his desk and walked down the stairs, kneeling to the little soul.

He hoped he sounded as gentle as he intended. “What’s your name little one?”

Next to him, a flash of glowing paper showed up, the boys name, age, how he died and various other bits of information on it.

“Micheal sir..” He whimpered out.

Hemes was about to take a few bites of grape from the tray Persephone brought when Hades voice stopped him. “Hemes, can you fetch my queen? I need her to help Micheal.”

Hemes was about to say something along the lines of what do you do when I’m not here to fetch her but Hades glaring look toward his hesitance stopped it. “Yeah, yeah, back in a jiffy.”

Michel sniffled, wiping his eyes of tears. “You have a queen?”

“Yes, the most beautiful queen,” Hades said, giving him a little smile.

“Are you a king then? Like in the fairytales?”

“Yes, like in your fairy tales.”

Hermes arrived with Persephone in his arms, making sure she got there quickly as possible. “Your queen.”

Persephone quickly walked over, kneeling down to the little boy with a soft smile. “Hello, little one.”

Micheal gave a shy look. “You are really pretty like he said.”

She smiled brightly, reaching her hand to him, letting him choose to take it.

“Thank you, you’re very polite.”

“My mama always taught me to say sir and mam and to tell girls they’re pretty.” He said, holding her hand.

She stood, holding his hand tightly enough he wouldn’t be lost again, guiding him to the right hallway. “Oh really? You must have the best mom.” She turned back, giving a little wave to Hades. Micheal did as well, waving before continuing down the hall.

Hades sighed as he got back up and back to his desk, reaching for his pen, also summoning Micheal’s paperwork as he looked at it.

He started to look all around his desk for his pen, it was specially made for dealings in the underworld, made of obsidian with platinum lining as its metal casing and a small line of diamonds where one would hook it onto a pocket.

He looked and then stopped himself. He never lost items, especially the pen he needed to sign and confirm people into their judgment. Then he looked over at Hermes who was snacking with various cheese cubes in one hand, a good handful.

Hades gave him a look, glaring at him. “Hermes, you wouldn’t have happened to know where my pen went?”

Hermes swallowed the cheese that was in his mouth. “Oh..uh no, no, I haven’t. Must have rolled away.”

“Without anyone touching it?”

“Yeah, could have put it down wrong.”

“In the Eons I have been doing this, the only times it’s gone missing is when you show up?”

Hermes blushed. “Yeah.”

Hades sighed. “I do not have the mental energy to fight with you, just return my pen.”

Hermes summoned the pen from his personal pocket dimension, handing it over before realizing his little pocket dimension was overfilled, a very familiar trident falling out right as Hades grabbed his pen.

It was unmistakable and loud as it clanked onto the floor and down the few stairs to the floor.

Hades just stared at it and then back to Hermes before standing, Hermes could feel the Gods anger rising as he started backing away. “Is that Posidons trident?” Hades asked, voice controlled.

Hermes stumbled on his words as he backed himself to floor level. “What? why …why would..What? How did that get in there?” He kept backing away, fire licking around Hades feet.

“How did you get his trident Hermes?” His voice stayed controlled but Hermes could feel how Livid he was.

Hermes backed himself into a wall. “Oh well, I was just delivering a message and... And well uhh he was just..so thankful he gave it to me?”

“Do not make me force the truth out of you.”

“What is going on here?!” Persephone yelled from across the room, coming back from helping the child, she was next to her husband within seconds. Hades points to the trident. “That.”

She looked over and glared at it before giving a hard look to Hermes. “Did you steal his trident? Are you why we’re dealing with the mass of souls?” she turned to Hades with a soft look. “Go back to work love, I’ll take care of this.”

The fire around him dimmed down to nothing, his hand going to her waist, kissing her head. “Very well. Be sure to return his trident as soon as possible.”

She smiled to him. “Of course.” She returned to gaze to Hermes and it was hardened again, she summoned the trident into her hand with a few vines. “I should impale with this. Follow me and if you fly away I swear nothing will keep me from finding you.”

Hermes just nodded, more scared of her than he was with Hades. For a Goddess of Spring, she was terrifying, more so than her husband. He followed obediently. Once back in the room, she huffed as she hit him over the head with the trident before throwing it to the ground, startling Ceberous who watched it clank to the ground.

Hermes fell to the ground with the impact, crying out in pain. “Ow, that was… deserved.”

“You're damn right it's deserved! Do you know how many souls your little habit costs? Almost 300,000, along with the normal amount that dies a day. we only take on a few hundred a day! We watch over 17 countries in our zone and in one day we got 300,000, thanks to you. My husband has been working himself to the bone to make sure each soul is properly checked in and judged and shown where they need to go.”

Hermes gave a soft glare. “His work ethic isn't my prob-”

“I will hit you again if you finish that sentence.” She said, a thick vine of ivy summoning around her arm, a threat.

Heres grumbled.

She frowned, body softening. “I just had to help a four-year-old. He was barely a child, still a toddler and he was terrified. You've taken an innocent child from his parents because of your monornic stunt.”

“Technically Poseidon did, he’s the one throwing a temper tantrum.”

“And you knew how he would react when you took it. That's why you flew through the window! Were you coming here to hide like a coward!”

Hermes sighed, the side of his face throbbing as he ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, I was coming here to hide. I flew faster than I have in a long time and lost control on the way here and broke your window.”

Persephone used her vines to grab the trident, bringing it into her arms, walking over to Hermes. “You will take me to Posiedon immediately so I can make sure it’s returned properly.” He just nodded, holding her quickly and flying away.

When the last soul was done, the hall of judgment empty, he nearly slumped into his throne before he heard his old friend next to him. “Long few days?”

He looked and saw Thanatos next to him, standing professionally, arms behind his back, black robes hanging loosely.

Hades sighed, relaxing a bit. He could always unmask from the day safely around him. “Something like that. Hermes was here, stole my damn pen.”

“And Poseidons tridant.”

Hades looked at him with surprise.

Thanatos shrugged. “Word travels fast, especially with all the souls you’ve had to check-in. Apparently, quite a few hundred souls heard about your fire show and became a bit panicked thinking you were the devil. Nyx had to help calm them.”

“I should apologize to her.” He said as he stood, both he and Thanatos walking down to the floor.

Thanatos gave a small smile. “What for? You were both were doing your job. It’s a wonder you didn’t try to smite the messenger on the spot for his behavior.”

“Still, because of my behavior, she had extra to deal with and it will not sit with me to not apologize.”

“How mortals see you as a villain in their media will be a mystery to me. Dioynous is throwing a small celebration for us helping so many souls, you should come, and have a drink.”

Hades shook his head. “I know his get-togethers; he says it’s small, I say it’s twenty people too many.”

“Still, you deserve a drink of wine or meade, you’ve worked hard my friend, and should relax.”

“I plan to do that, in my own bed. Thank you for all your help, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He said, turning to go down the hall to his home.

Once inside his own home, he slumped against the door, rubbing his hands thought his dark hair and down his face.

Cerberus's affectionate woof nearly startled him as the giant dog walked over, wagging his huge tail, threatening to break any fragile items in its wake.

Hades smiled softly to him, petting each head as much as he could so none felt left out. “Hello my sweet baby, I missed you terribly.”

“As did I.”

He turned, seeing his queen, having just returned. She smiled as she spoke. “Done with work?”

He chuckled warmly, holding her close. “For now. Death is never ending.”

She smiled as she spoke. “So Dioynous is throwing a little party for all of our hard work with the disaster.”

“I know, Thanatos told me about it.”

She pulled away. “We should go get a drink. We deserve it.”

“I won’t argue we do but you know I’ve never been a fan of parties.”

“Yes, I know dear but we can get one drink and leave.”

He sighed as she took his hand, leading him out. “One drink.”

As soon as they arrived Dioynous was the first to greet them, smiling brightly as he gave a hug to Persephone. “Yo, glad to see you made it!”

After his hug, he stuck his hand out to Hades. Hades reluctantly shook his hand. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the wine God, his personality could just be…a lot, especially after the days of work he’s currently put in. “We’re here for one drink and one drink only.”

He suddenly saw Poseidon there as well, looking much calmer than he normally is, talking with some others. “He came here? After what his temper tantrum did?”

Dionysus shrugged. “Yeah but don’t worry, I made sure to spike his drinks with some calming herbs, thought it might be better to keep an eye on him here ya know?”

Hades just nodded as Dionysus summoned two glasses of wine for them. “Here, relax, enjoy yourself. So? Get any interesting souls?”

Hades took a sip of the wine before speaking. “Always.”

Dionysus silently urged him to go on, blinking at him as he drank his own wine.

Hades sighed. “There was a corrupt Christian priest and a few atheists. The atheists are always the most confused, believing they don’t go anywhere when they die and they just rot in the ground, forgetting they have a soul with energy."

As Dioynses startd to talk, Hades saw Perhphone leave his side to socialize and greet the other deities. “But don’t they need payment for Charon to even get to you? Why would they end up here?”

“Not all do, just our believers and worshipers since it’s tied to our particular system.”

Thanatos showed up suddenly next to Hades. “You came?”

Hades jumped slightly, forgetting sometimes Thanotos could just instantly jump from one place to another without any sound.

He sighed. “Yes, I wasn’t given much choice.”

Thanatos smiled, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad, you’re always holed up with your work, we rarely get to see you, as the humans say; I’ve missed your face.”

Hades gave a small smile to him. “Thank you.” Suddenly Persephone was coming over, gently leading both Hermes and Poisedon to him. She smiled. “I believe these two have something to say to you.”

Hades looked confused, Thanotos was holding onto laughter, along with Dioynous.

Hades could see his brother was high, very high to have him even want to apologize let alone be lead. He’s probably more relaxed and laid back than he’s ever been in his entire life.

Poseidon's movements were slow but Hades could tell his feelings were genuine. “I’m sorry, about this mess. I lost my cool-“

“That’s an understatement.” Hades said with a blank look.

His brother continued, either not hearing what he said or not caring; probably not caring.

“And that wasn’t cool. I know my temper controls the earthquakes and then the sea and I’m sorry you had to clean up my mess.”

Hades gave a small nod. “Apology accepted.”

Persephone nudged Hermes who jumped, being terrified of the both of them right now. “And I’m sorry I stole his tridant. I knew how he would react and stole it anyway, I’m sorry.”

Hades gave him a glare but seeing the huge, trident-shaped bruise on the side of his face was satisfying. “Apology pending.”

Dionysus let a laugh escape, Hades bluntness was always a surefire way to make the God of wine laugh till his sides hurt.

Thanotos joined in laughing not nearly as hard as the wine god.

Hermes looked offended and before anything could come out of his mouth, Persephone was already stopping him. “Nope, be glad you got that much for your apology.”

Hermes grumbled. “Alright, I’m gonna go back to the party.” He said, flying away.

Poseidon was tipsy as he went to walk back to his spot, nearly falling into the wine fountain at the center of the room.

Dioynous reacted immediately. “Alright, let’s get you home.”

“But Aphrodite is-“

“Yes and she’s busy sucking face with Aries, she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

“Oh.”

Hades just watched in mild disbelief. Both from his brother being so drunk and high he could barely stand and that he apologized. And that Dionysus was a good host, he wanted people drunk but not drunk enough to cause a problem or get hurt.

Persephone smiled to her husband, holding his hand. “Ready to go home. We’ve had our one drink.”

Hades nodded. “Yes, very much.”

They both turned, Hades hand on her lower back as they went back home to rest.