There is no such thing as forgiveness

There’s no such thing as forgiveness. Asking someone to forgive you is absurd. Why? Because only you can forgive yourself when you believe you have done something wrong and sincerely seek forgiveness. Otherwise, it is just a formality to conform to societal or professional expectations. If you know you have done something wrong, no matter how much the supposed victim forgives you, it won’t bring relief unless you forgive yourself. This involves admitting your mistake, learning from it, and striving to act better the next time something similar happens. In essence, forgiveness is internal reflection.

The same applies to the offended party. They must also work through their feelings and ponder: Why did a certain action bother me? Or is it who it comes from that bothers me? What problem do I have with that person?

Let’s not kid ourselves, if something is not indifferent to us, it means that we have a problem, something to deal with, and it is with ourselves, because that’s why some people get offended by things that others ignore, perhaps due to a childhood trauma, an inherited conflict from parents, or an unprocessed traumatic experience. And by forgiving, I mean letting go of something, a feeling of hatred, it has nothing to do with the other person but with oneself: why one made a mistake and why the other was bothered by it.

Obviously, forgiving doesn’t mean tolerating everything others inflict on us. Forgiveness is a way to free ourselves from mental burdens. If someone doesn’t vibe with us, we shouldn’t force ourselves to be with them, but we also shouldn’t deny them forgiveness. Not forgiving is like telling ourselves that we aren’t allowing ourselves to move on with our lives because of someone else’s mistake. We end up carrying the burden of something we didn’t do ourselves.

“Sounds deep, but are you gonna forgive him or not?” his companion asked, precariously holding the hand of a man hanging from a cliff. “Decide already, he’s heavy and they’re waiting for me at home for dinner.” The man hanging from the cliff, horrified by the height, sobbed, “Please forgive me, I won’t eat your bacon sandwich again.” The other man, smoking a pipe and sitting on a foldable children’s picnic chair, calmly exhaled smoke. “As I said, there’s no such thing as forgiveness. Let go of his hand.”