part 29

I woke up to Lionel trying to move me back to bed. I must have fallen asleep against the window.

“Why were you on the floor?” He is muttering under his breath.

He may have asked me, but I don't think he expected me to answer. Father used to call those Rhetorical questions, when a person asks you something but doesn't really want or expect you to answer.

It would explain why he joted a bit when I yelled as I answered him.

“ I wanted to see the stars.”

He paused for a moment, looking at me and then back to the window for a moment.

“The stars… Is. Is that why you were crawling on the floor last night? When you got hit by the curtain rod?”

I nodded, still not used to speaking, especially so early in the morning. My throat has been aching since yesterday as well.

“Princess if you want to do something then please let me know. It's wonderful that you are feeling well enough to move around on your own, but you are still very ill and are not fully capable of doing strenuous activity yet. The doctor said you shouldn't be allowed to walk around on your own for a while…”

I just nodded again. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying anymore, I was so tired… and hungry

When was the last time I was hungry?

I had been eating, I know that. Lionel never stopped commenting on how much more I was eating now then when he first came here. He always smiled bright whenever I ate something and he was chipper than ever when talking to any of the other staff in the castle about my progress.

I had been eating, but I don't think I had been hungry for anything these past few months. Right now though, all I really wanted was a nice slice of bread with jams and some cheese on the side and then a nap.

Well, maybe I could eat and then go get some of their things, and then nap.

Yes, that sounded better. I wanted to eat some bread, the puffy thick slices that looked like books stuffed together on a shelf with jam and cheese, maybe even some tea. Then I could go around and gather their special things, maybe some favorite items, clothes, books, journals, little mementos to keep for them. After that i could bundle up with it all and take a nice long nap in Mother’s and father’s bed.

“Princess?” Lionel had stopped talking at some point, I must have gone too quiet. Which is odd if I think about it, I had been nothing but quiet since we first met. Perhaps I had gone still in his arms, or he had asked a question that I failed to answer as I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying at the moment.

“Princess, are you alright? You seem… dazed.”

I think that was a good word for it. I feel dazed. Like I'm walking through a foggy forest, or that my mind is clouded with cotton. I don't really feel at peace but I'm not upset as I have been for a while. It felt like there was nothing to feel anymore for me, ironic I suppose.

“Princess?”

He was sitting down on the bed, glancing back at the door as if to check if someone was coming or not. He probably was waiting for the doctor to come check on me this morning.

“Bread.”

We stared at each other for a moment in silence. I had meant to say much more than just bread, or course. I had meant to ask for my breakfast and some tea and then to figure out how I could go about getting to all of their rooms today.

“Bread…?” He was definitely confused, but before I could further explain what I wanted he broke out into a wide smile, “You want something to eat?”

I nodded, smiling back a little I think. His joy at something like this was catching I suppose.

“You want bread, what do you want with it?”

“Jam. cheese. Please…” My voice was getting quieter everytime i spoke, it sounded as scratchy as my throat felt too.

“Bread with jam and cheese, and I’ll have them bring tea to help soothe your throat. Does that sound right?”

I nodded again and he smiled even bigger as he hurriedly excused himself to the door to place the order for me.

The doctor had come and gone by the time Bethany came in with breakfast. She and Lionel were whispering to each other, heads practically touching as he told her of what happened this morning.

The doctor had left a special honey, one my mother often used, for my throat and voice to help it recover and get used to being used again.

“So princess.” Lionel was back at my bedside, Bethany smiling and giving me a little wave as she slipped out of the room, “How is your breakfast?”

I had eaten all of it while he had had his short and quick conversation with Bethany, I could feel some of the jam still sitting on my cheek as I hadn't gotten to wipe it off uet. I nodded while I dabbed at the spot on my face with a napkin. It was good bread and even better jam.

I wondered if the chef still had any of my mother's favorite lingonberry jam, I would love to have some of that. It was the best treat when he would let us lick some of his spoon.

“Good! Now that you’ve eaten a bit you should rest. The doctor said you were recovering well but that you still need quite a bit of rest to fully heal.”

I shook my head. It wasn't time to rest now. As sleepy as I was I needed to get my special things from all of them. I already had a little list forming in my head of what I wanted to get from who.

“No?” he looked nearly shocked at my little protest, was this the first time had not agreed or gone along with him? Possibly, I hadn't really been in a protesting mood.

“ I want-”

“Hold on,” He had interrupted my scratchy little voice rather quickly, rushing to a small pile of notebooks on the table by my father’s side of the bed. “Uh… this one doesn't look too important. Here” He handed me a small little notepad, its first few pages had random little notes and some doodles on them but it was otherwise empty. “The doctor said you shouldn't speak too much yet, so try writing some of it down for now. Can you write?” a panicked look crossed his face as he thought his plan would work out.

I nodded quickly, I had been reading and writing since I could hold a pen and a book, and took both out of his hand. Jotting down my request before handing it back.

“You want to get some things from your uncles’ and cousins’ rooms?”

A little nod from me, he glanced at the notepad again before looking back up. “Alright, webcam does that. But first you need to rest a bit. You were up for a while last night and ended up falling asleep on the floor.”

I shook my head, reaching out for the notepad again.

“Princess.” he sighed, giving me the notes back, watching as I wrote something else. “We will go and get the things you want today, I just want you to rest for a little while. You're shaking like a leaf already from the exhaustion of doing so much. Just an hour or two for a nap and then we can head off. Does that sound alright?”

I paused in my writing, looking up at him and nodding after abit.

“Very good. Now, I will wake you in an hour or so, so let's get you settled for a nap and afterwards we can go gathering.”

I had no more protests for him as he situated the blankets and pillows around me as he usually did. Fluffing them and wrapping them right up to my chin snugly before shutting the curtains to block out what little light they did.

I stared at the ceiling for a while after he left. Perhaps my body was tired, but I truly didn't wish to sleep right now. I tossed and turned for a moment before a familiar smell came to me.

One of the little pillows that Lionel had stuck around me smelled just like my father’s cologne, faded surely but it was still there. A little sigh ;eft me as I cuddled deeper into that pillow, trying to smother myself with his cologne.

The scent made it feel like I was sniggling right up to my father, curled up in his lap with my head against his chest. He would run his hands down my hair and rub my back as I slipped off to sleep while he finished up some work. Then in the morning i would wake up either between him and mother in their bed, or curled next to him in my own my arms holding onto him deathly tight.

I slipped off to sleep just like that, curled up in the piles of pillows and blankets wrapped around me. My nose was buried in the pillow that had some of hissagey cologne still on it.

It was wonderful the moment that I slipped off to bed.