Self Present
Grab the weight. It's heavy, yeah?
But how heavy is my body.
I push you because I know you need it.
That release. The ease in your breathing after sprinting.
You don't get to this point without a fight.
This place is a luxury, there's velvet everywhere, see?
The lights shine a little brighter than before, the noise is less noisy.
Your steps are more yours, less everyone else's.
I take these steps in the shoes I bought because I fucking want to.
I like this direction, and it does not need to make sense to you.
Or you. Or you. Or you.
I looked in the mirror today and for the first time in a long time, I realized
there is someone else there, looking back at me.
She's smiling, too.
She's standing pretty tall, she has this look in her eye that could finish a war.
I have let her down too. I'm no better than them.
But she's forgiving me, because today, I gave her water to drink.
I gave her enough rest, I gave her some reassurance. I told her I loved her.
I let her feel emotions. I let her feel pretty. Now she feels pretty.
Not because she needs to, but a deeper place. A knowing.
It's becoming more clear and it feels...different.
Like coming to a familiar place but taking a different road there.
Coming to a clearing. A deep breath. A whole body relaxing.
I am here right now.