Two Truths
One: Everything has a reason
Two: A reason is not an excuse
You ask for my forgiveness, yet you haven't considered the weight of an apology.
I understand that you had a reason. Everything has a cause and an effect, after all. But that doesn't excuse you from what you have done. It was wrong of me to shout at you, for you had a reason, and I apologize for that. But you also don't 'deserve' forgiveness. If a reason is an excuse, then nothing would have consequences.
You can apologize, but whether you receive forgiveness is up to me, not you. I appreciate that you have apologized, for an apology is necessary when you have made a mistake, but you can not ask for my forgiveness.
So please, live a life which you can forgive yourself, rather than seek the forgiveness of others.