Not Beating The Yearning Allegations With This One

The most natural inclination in the world is to be upset because you want something.

I am upset at myself for going back to bad habits,

I am upset at myself for wanting to touch the stove burner a second time

I want the lemonade from six years ago and the sunlight when I was thirteen and everything I can’t have

What you want is fundamentally different from what you need

I am clutching at my chest with a racing heart and the sudden realization that I may die in my sleep and all I want to do is go back to when I was three (nevermind the bad parts or the black spots in memory)

And none of this mattered

I am upset at myself for chipping a tooth again

I am upset at myself for scraping my chin for the thousandth time

What I need is bactine, bandaids, and maybe therapy or maybe I should take up drinking or maybe I should consider learning

It is upsetting to find yourself wanting,

downright humiliating

Look at all this hunger,

whatever will you do with it?