A Conspiracy of Pricks

An industrial-strength thumbtack surprise

Rises a full inch above its thumb-press head

On a chair seat of such nefarious devise–

A lark for brat pricks who planned it ahead

The laws of physics co-conspired with them, 'gainst her

T'would be gravity that'd bring her fat ass straight down

And dermal elasticity would fail and condemn her

A violent end defining a fat babysitter's renown

She lowered herself, eased down to the seat

Where disaster lay wait to ceremoniously skewer her

Video was rolling in broadcast conceit

And tyrannized children TikTok streamed it to viewers