I want

I want

to want to die

I want

to write beautiful words that change the way people view the world

I want

to hurt so badly I can't take it

I want

to be able to stop bottling my emotions

I want

to cry so hard I have an asthma attack when no one is home

I want

to want to live

I want

to get hit by a car and die

I want

to paint a masterpiece so lovely I become immortalized

I want

people to love me

I want

everyone to hate me so I have a reason to fight the world

I want

security and comfort to be guaranteed

I want

to get hit with a car and survive

I want

harm and pain to be guaranteed

I want

to cook family recipes with my partner

I want

no one to ever be able to love me so I have a reason to feel so dejected and alone

I want

that feeling where the whole world is in my heart because I felt loved

I want

to feel strong emotions again

any of them

I want to feel human again