Karma Love and the Billionaire’s Space Station.

Back on board and heading earthwards the crew see an orbiting space station through the cockpit window.

Look at the size of it! gasps Purple.

How many astronauts does it have on board?” asks Tina.

Oh just four and they are not exactly astronauts. says Karma.

Who are they ? asks Hector.

Their names will sound quite familiar to you. says Karma.

Gill Bates. Brick Ranson. Beff Jezos and of course Zark Muckerberg.

It’s the billionaires space station! cries Bob.

Little do they know that they are going to orbit the earth in perpetuity!” Karma says gleefully.

How come?asks Hector.

Let’s just say that Mother Nature decided her future would be more certain without them trashing the planet.

Oh, can we tap in and listen to them! asks Tina.

This is one vehicle we are definitely not going to board. says Hector

But just for our amusement Yes we surely can listen in.

Eddie Says Karma with a knowing glance.

Yes Eddie can do it. says Eddie.

Ssszzzzzzzh! Beep…. bumping into me. Can’t you keep your distance?

G.B Gosh! Space is so…...big!

B.R Well of course it is you thundering v - necked genius

B. J It’s not nearly as big as I thought it would be.

G.B That simply underlines your lack of imagination but then again….what would you know...you’re just a delivery boy.

Z.M Delivery boy.

B.R Can you come up with a sentence of your own Captain Zark.. without imitating me… something original?

Z.M Yes. Original.

G.B So much space. Who would have thought that one day my ego would be surpassed in its magnitude. I mean it makes my head hurt.

B.R I am not a sadist.. But I hope it does.

B.J My cranium feels wafer thin.

B.R That’s because it is. Bozo. You are so aptly named. Did you pick your name off a sweet wrapper? Well, considering the combined size of your egos it’s a miracle that they fit into this space station.at all.

G.B Perhaps it has something to do with zero gravity. Our egos have been lightened.

B.J So you mean that when we get back to earth we’ll have pumpkin sized heads?

G.B Let’s hope that pumpkins are out of season when we do. And at all cost avoid returning to earth for Halloween. I don’t want end up gouged out by some ambidextrous 11 year old and dumped on the front porch with burning candles in my eye sockets.

B.R Not a becoming end for a billionaire.. No

B.J Guys I’m starving. Who is up for a pizza? I’ve a crew of 1, 298 000 staff down there working 24/7 for peanuts and they appreciate the fact that their efforts have actually contributed to shooting my ass into space.

B.R My God. Think of the amount of fuel it took to haul your buttocks off the earth and defy gravity.

Z.M Defy gravity!

G.B You’ve been defying lots of things lately haven’t you.

B.R Business acumen, discretion, modesty. To name but a few.

B.J It’s the money! It does terrible things to you. I’d give it all away tomorrow if….

B.R If what Bozo?

G.B I once had this crazy idea to make a laptop available to every child on the planet but

eventually it dawned on me there are no wireless connections in places like Mali.

B.J People in Mali need a social platform so when they walk 10 kms to fetch water they can take a selfie and stay connected with each other.

Z.M I love connecting people.” I want the whole world to be connected...like they are holding hands remotely.

B.R It’s perverse. You sound like some awful soft drinks TV ad from 70’s

Z.M Everyone holding hands remotely. It’s beautiful.

G.B Ugggh! But a lot of people down there don’t even wash their hands.

B.J I can deliver hand sanitizer anywhere…. except Africa.

G.B I wash my hands a 1000 times a day. It’s not O.C.D. It's just that my research team have informed me that zoonotic microbes are airborne and can enter your body through you pores travelling straight to the brain and proceed to act like Ibola.

B.R Sounds like they already have!

Z.M Ha! Ha! They already have!

G.M Gosh.It is surely the end of human civilization.

B.J No it’s not. We’ll simply relocate.

B.R “ To where?

Z.M “ Yes! To where?

B.J “ Well I have been tinkering around with an idea…

B.R “ Uh Oh! Once you hear Bozo say...tinker around you know it means messing around with Mother Nature.

B.J “ Yes I know it’s ambitious but we can’t get very far in space so let’s engineer a new planet close by and launch a shuttle bus of the best and brightest”

B.R Whoa! Wait a second. You’re going to terraform a new planet?

Z.M Terraform!

G.B What are you going to call your little new planet?

B.J I was thinking about something along the lines of Planet B

B.R How original. We can only guess what the B stands for!

Z.M Yeah! Original!

B.R I can just imagine the flow of communication. Earth to Planet B. Come in Planet B!

B.J Planet B over

B.R What are your favourite pizza toppings over?

Z.M Pizza toppings!

G.B You know what Brick. You have great teeth and hair for a man of your age. Where did you get them?

B.R Well. I know this very talented lady on Kensington High street. She has her own private clinic. She does microscopic hair implants for every single follicle on your head. It’s amazing how she does it.

Z.M Amazing.

B.R I’m out cold of course throughout the whole procedure but rumour has it, that she employs Norkean soldiers the size of an ink dot with atomic precision.

Z.M “ Atomic

G.B And the teeth?

B.R Oh they are just refashioned white Lego bricks. Really tough though. I go through a kilo of unshelled walnuts for breakfast.

B.J How much?

B.R An undisclosed sum of…. 250 thousand dollars.

G.B Gosh! So you spent as much on cosmetic surgery as it costs to travel into space!

B.R Relatively speaking. Yes. But I’ve got billionaire friends who pay their staff on an annual basis the same amount for performing acts of personal hygiene.

G.B Ugggh You mean down there...in the swimming costume department?

B.R God you are such a prude. You sound like a quaker.

G.B I don’t go anymore. Well I do go...I mean only ones...not twos

Z.M You don’t go?

B.R He doesn’t go for a pooh!

Z. M He said Pooh!

B.R What do you mean you don’t go. Everyone goes. It’s a biological necessity. Even for billionaires.

G.B Well, you see I have got this device. It’s called a Cesarean colonic waste disposal valve just under my bellybutton.

Z.M Bellybutton

G.B It collects, hermetically seals and perfumes in a customised coated design of my fa..fa ..fac…. Face. Faeces.

B.R Your pooh!

B.J What’s your design cover for your sealed packet of pooh!

G.B A baby panda

Z.M Baby panda…...you gotta be kidd……… Shhhzzzzzzzz! Beep!

Karma makes a deal with the Billionaires stuck in space. The deal is very simple in its premise. When she contacted them and revealed the true nature of their predicament on what they understood about their holiday.

You may return to earth on one condition. Transfer all your assets to me.