By My Side
You came into this world my precious child and my life forever changed. How can such a tiny baby make such a big impact? When I gaze into those ever-searching eyes, I imagine the future that lies ahead and cannot help but smile. I'll protect you throughout the years, even when you feel too old for such parenting. Hold my finger and allow me to rediscover the world as we begin our fascinating journey through life. I’m so very happy that I have you by my side.
Tomorrow is birthday number nine. I sit and wonder how I let the years elapse unimpeded. I should have done more to push back against their relentless onslaught. But I couldn’t. Or didn’t. You went from a helpless infant to a crawling baby to an unsteady toddler to a running child. Growth and experience have dominated these formative years. I answered your questions while you questioned my answers. And we both learned. You know much but still have more to absorb. I begrudgingly accept that each day expands your world and loosens my grip. Even more reason I’m thankful for when you slow down long enough to walk by my side.
On the eve of your high school graduation. I've watched you mature 12 of the last 18 years around a busy school calendar. From artwork on the fridge to college applications in the mail, our priorities shifted. Your self-esteem and independence have expanded from the morning we walked to the end of the driveway together, waiting with trepidation for the overwhelming yellow bus to arrive. This was one of the few times I released your hand first. Now, while you drive to school and points beyond, the trepidation is all mine. As a teenager constantly on the move, I still catch glimpses of those ever-searching eyes. When your social schedule allows, I enjoy the moments you’re by my side.
The accumulated education and experiences have paid off an array of benefits as your life revolves around a spouse, career, new home and soon a family. You laid a sturdy foundation to support these adult obligations and have moved away. Turning back the years is impossible but I find myself searching through childhood items I’ve kept in your old toy chest. These outdated souvenirs document cherished times we shared, unleashing a wave of emotions. I wish these long-forgotten mementos would magically stop the world from spinning, preventing us from slipping further into the past. But that doesn’t happen. Although physically separated by miles, having a phone enables me to bring you back by my side.
Standing near my bed, you see that my body is worn down while my mind is tired. You stopped holding my finger for support a lifetime ago and now lovingly caress my hand to say good-bye. Time will, without exception, prevail, outlasting another worthy opponent to remain undefeated. You will always be my precious child for that has never changed. A peace comes over me now that, once again, I have you by my side.
My book is closed, but yours is still being written. I was blessed we co-authored so many incredible stories. Now my grandchildren are giving you the opportunity to rediscover the world, just as I did when you were born. You will continue your fascinating journey through life without me, although never alone. Because I will always be, in spirit, by your side.