Bournewood Made Me Remember

Pulling over on the shoulder to cry,

Even though there’s sunshine.

Lying on the roof, the ridges across our backs

as we kept our eyes to the sky and prayed

for something different this time.

That car held all our secrets and then some,

Sitting in the driveway at midnight

Ignoring the ache that goodbye threatened.

Mothers and fathers and

Grief, like I’ve always known.

Like a fist’s worth of friendship

Could end our suffering.

Like four wheels on the tar

Meant we could outrun identity.

Two palms upturned and laid against thighs,

Exposing more than just flesh.

The quiet devastation of

being alive.

How do you stand it,

The remembering?

These moments

seared into me.

Wishing for the forgetting to finally reach me,

And the slow river of knowing it never will.