I can’t sleep because of the music

Once again, you're here, on this sofa, watching television as if something interesting is happening. But it's off. Music is playing in the background, just enough so that I can't sleep, yes, I can't sleep because of the music.

You're there, as if I didn't exist. Around you, emptiness, empty bottles. The floor freezes my feet. I take two steps towards you, you turn around. You freeze my blood.

I'm crying. I'm frightened. You open your mouth. I'm frightened. You tell me that's all I know how to do, cry, over and over again. You ask me how I still have the strength. Your words rush through my head like a torrent in a storm. I feel like I'm drowning. But I know how to swim. I can't sleep because I'm crying. It's my fault.

In fact, I feel a little too much like your words. Your words that you use senselessly and indiscriminately without knowing that they can hurt. Your words that you value no less than yourself. I feel a cut in my chest when you have the misfortune to tell me once again that my person bothers you. Totally misunderstood, I know that explaining to you how I feel is a waste of time, because you're too tired to understand a word of it.

Your words are sharp, like a leaf could cut the tip of one of your long fingers. Still emotional, I try to explain how I feel. Unfortunately, everything is as confused as one of our happy old memories. You look at me, with your glassy eyes soaked in that liquid I hate so much. I look blurry because you're looking at me like the world is about to fall apart under your feet so you take another sip to kill the rest of me. The sound of glass clattering on the table. My body trembles. A few ideas stray into my head and I babble a few resentments that make me look stupid. My heart feels wounded. As usual, you twist me every which way until my soul bleeds too much. Wounds from the past not yet healed due to lack of understanding. Wounds still open, not yet closed. I bleed little by little, so as not to worry, but enough to lose my strength. You stand up and the next thing I know, you're standing in front of me, you're so tall, I have to lift my head to look at you. I don't. I don't move. My body trembles, my soul resists. You scream, you humiliate me. Without warning, I'm on the ground. Why, I can't remember, but it's my fault. Yes, I'm crying.

Surprised, you end up telling me that we love each other. That I'm the most important person in your eyes and that you'll never let anyone hurt me.

“If one day someone hurts you, believe me, He will die”.

I think instantly. D..

Summer Night (Souvenir 2022)