It’s My Shame That I Can’t Protect You (ch6)

Warning: a character experiences vertigo, but it's not described in great detail.

Synopsis: Ress is used to being a protector. She fights for her tribe and her children. But after a blow to the head she's sent southern half of Suuroo, away from the fighting and away from her purpose. She tries to be strong, tries to find something to fill the void, but nothing really works. Then one day a visitor comes and gives her an idea of how she can keep her life's purpose.

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Arms suddenly wrapped around her neck from behind with a chorus of giggles.

“Mum, it’s going to start soon! Oh, that looks good, mum.”

Ress blinked and focused on the work in her hands. The wicker plate had holes the size of small berries.

The corners of her lips twitched upward in a smirk. “Thank you, hun. That’s nice of you to say.”

He laughed and kissed her freckled cheek. “No, Mum! It really does look good! You could be a weaver-” he gasped. “I mean- um….” He quickly let go and pointedly turned to look at the crowd of people beyond the buildings. “We should go or we’re going to miss sis’ naming.”

Ress shifted the failed plate from her lap and rose to her feet.

“And your’s too,” she reminded him.

She held out her hand and he eagerly grabbed on to it, smiling up at her with searching eyes. She reassured him with a smile of her own, but once he turned away her smile faded.

They followed along the familiar trodden paths. Cold torches stood in front of the houses, and smoke rose from their thatched rooftops. The moon shone bright and, adding to the light of the bonfire ahead.

Drums rumbled a rhythmic beat through the air, which thrummed through their chests. A duo of flutes accompanied it, followed by the deep voice of a visiting druid-bard.

Ress smiled through each heavy beat on her skull.

One of the farmers greeted her and she slowed to say a few words.

Her son tugged on her hand. “Muuum!”

Sarma laughed, “Never mind, you had better go.”

Ress waved as she was pulled along. Her son weaved them through the crowd. Some waved and smiled at them, while others averted their gaze.

Ress quietly sighed through her nose.

Then a thought occurred to her. “Is your grandma there?”

“Yeah! She’s with everyone. See!”

She ignored the lump in her stomach as she followed his pointing finger. People sat around the roaring bonfire with cups of mead in hand and wicker plates full of warm food on their laps. Around them people danced and sang along to the music.

Sorsee’s mother and brothers sat with Ress’ aunt and uncle on the opposite side of the fire. They looked up and their smiles slid from their faces.

Ress straightened her shoulders.

One of her girls greeted her from where she sat nearest the chief’s home before anyone else could.

She waved, “Mum!” Her hair was tied up in a horsetail. A few bone beads had been woven into a single braid framing her face.

“You’re late, mum,” her other girl grumbled. Her frown quickly turned into a grin. Her hair flowed freely down her back, with a bird’s feather tied to one lock.

Her son finally let go of her hand and quickly sat down next to them. Under the cool light of the moon their blond hair shone as brightly as hers.

“Mum was working on a plate,” her boy explained.

“A warrior’s plate,” an elderly voice said. “The one who eats from it will be fortunate indeed.”

The chief rose up from the long ramp leading down into her home. Her well-worn silvery cloak had been wrapped tightly around her to hold back the chill. An ornate, bone broach and pin kept it in place, but her hands clutched at it from the inside for added security. Her druid-advisor and a guard followed.

Ress bowed. “Thank you, Chief Seaur. I apologize for being late.”

Seaur chuckled. Her old voice cracked, “Let’s not worry about it, hm? I’m eager to learn what new names we have this year.”

Ress smiled. “So am I.” She bent to her children and they turned to give her better access. She gave them each a kiss on her forehead. She briefly brushed their hair and got giggles in return.

She stood and her smile fell as she found a place near her aunt. The dirt and grasses were dry, flattened over time from many feet.

“Hello,” she greeted flatly as she faced the ceremony.

With an irritated look on his face, Seaur’s advisor called out for the visiting druid-priest.

“Did I hear you were trying to weave again?” her uncle asked carefully.

“I was, Uncle Roan.”

Her aunt Seia leaned forward, smiling as she tried to make eye contact with her. She anxiously rubbed her hands together. “And how did it go?”

Ress glanced at her, but her gaze remained focused on her children. Laughter erupted as the priest was dragged from among the dancers. She winced at the noise.

Once the laughter died down, she began, “Well….”

One of Sorsee’s brothers glared up at the priest from his plate. He muttered, “Useless Kasst druid.” His eyes lit up and he pointed at Ress with a dirty finger, “That’s what you should be, sister-wife!” Small bits of deer meat and green flecks of leek flew from his mouth. Some remained in his long moustache and beard.

His brother Inaee scowled at him. “Clean yourself, Arcsen.”

Arcsen chuckled as he wiped his mouth and beard. “Ah, sorry. Better?” He grinned and giggled at his own joke. “Ress the druid.”

She barely glanced at him.

Aunt Seia wondered, “It’s not a horrible idea.” She gasped and touched her forearm. “You could become a healer! I bet one of them would be willing to mentor you—and you could help out our warriors! Inaee could begin your learning.”

Roan muttered, “Seia.”

She turned to him with wide eyes. “What? What did I say?”

“Perhaps we should talk about this later,” he pressed with a meaningful look.

“But I was only just-”

Ress could feel her wife-mother’s heavy gaze as Saceera said, “If they were to accept her, then being a druid would likely mean constant travel. With her illness she wouldn’t be able to.”

Inaee scratched at his much shorter beard. “She could settle in a tribe.”

“Hm. I suppose-”

“Hush,” Ress interrupted without looking at Saceera. “The ceremony is starting,”

“Finally,” Arcsen muttered.

Saceera frowned at Ress, but didn’t say anything as the priest cleared her throat.

The music and dancers didn’t seem to hear them. They clapped and howled with laughter, their limbs moving to the beat of the drums.

Chief Seaur’s guard raised his voice, which shot over them like thunder. The world quickly turned quiet.

Ress’ body relaxed but the noise in her right ear, like that of a rushing river, roared on.

The priest ran through the familiar motions. She greeted spirits and asked everyone to call upon their ancestors, particularly any deceased family members of the children. Ress pressed a hand over her heart as she murmured her wife’s name.

The priest welcomed Serova, and then Soarfi as an after-thought. At the first name a soft snort came out of the dark from one of the horses. Chuckles arose from the audience. The priest greeted Messaress, and a comfortable but respectful hush flowed over the crowd.

Ress smiled with pride. She watched as her children stared up at the priest with wide eyes. They had seen namings before but watching and participating were two entirely different experiences.

Her eyes grew watery as the three lovingly presented Sorsee’s favourite wooden cup and bone knife. The priest put aside her wooden staff to accept them. Then she smiled and spoke to the children as she knelt. From her small pouch she pulled out a metal knife and a roll of cloth. Their eyes widened at the shiny metal.

The priest’s smile grew at their curiosity.

“Now, who’s first?” she asked.

“Me! I want my name first!”

“Hey!”

“I-I can wait.”

Ress chuckled. Her bold daughter and her son grinned back at her. Her second daughter’s smile wavered, but Ress nodded reassuringly. Her girl sat straighter with a brighter smile.

The priest held out her hand.

Long moments later the entire tribe cheered, shattering the silence. Drums accompanied them. Ress grimaced but smiled.

She clapped and cheered, “Romee!”

Romee’s long, wild hair whirled around. She grinned and waved with her now bandaged hand. Eventually the priest called for quiet again.

The priest turned to Ress’ son and repeated her actions. Soon enough he got up and ran directly into Ress’ strong arms.

He laughed and said, “I’m Arna! Do you like it, mum?”

She hugged him tight. “I do,” she said warmly. “It suits you.”

He beamed and hugged her as tight as he could before returning to his spot.

Ress’ last girl bit her lip and turned her face away from the bone blade as it neared her hand. Ress met her eyes and she waved. Her girl smiled a little but it fell when the knife cut her palm. She hissed and the priest apologized. The woman caught the blood in the cup and then cut another new length of cloth with the other, metal knife to wrap her hand in.

“Sera!” Arna shouted moments later. He leaned around Romee and hugged her. Sera giggled and returned the hug. Then Romee smirked and leaned back until all three fell backward onto the ground. They laughed and their audience cheered.

The priest finished and Chief Seaur stepped forward, but before she could say a word Sera, Romee, and Arna got up.

They ran to Ress and she wrapped her arms around them all three. One had their arms around her neck, another around her arm, and the third around her other arm.

“Mum, it hurt but I really like my new name.”

“Do you like my name?”

“Mum, mum, call me by my name!”

Ress winced and turned her head in pain. Immediately their voices lowered. Wide eyed, they whispered apologies.

She smiled. She matched their quiet voices and said, “It’s alright, it’s alright, but you should go back and finish.” She nodded toward the chief, who was waiting patiently for them.

Sera and Arna gasped and ran back. Romee grinned as she stepped away. She threw out her arms and spun around several times before returning to her spot.

Chief Seaur chuckled, but it turned into a dry cough. She cleared her throat and accepted a cup of water with thanks. Her sparkling eyes returned to Arna, Sera, and Romee. The wrinkles around her eyes grew as she smiled.

She briefly let go of her cloak to raise her arms. “Welcome, Romee, Arna, and Sera. May you be guided and protected by those around you, and may you do the same for them.”

Arna, Sera, and Romee beamed and bowed their heads. Cheers erupted. People stood and clapped and the music struck up again, filling the air with noise.

Ress covered her ears as she rose to her feet. Her children looked at her but she smiled reassuringly.

Then a war horn tore through the air. The sound drowned everything out and burrowed deep into her skull like a spear in the flesh of an enemy warrior. The world shifted and spun, shifted back and spun again. She inhaled in panic and her feet fell out from under her.

Someone caught her before she could hit the ground and she whimpered from the sudden stop. There was shouting, and noise, and her ear thundered. It felt like a cloth had been stuffed into it.

“No, no. Not-” She swallowed hard as her stomach turned. “Not again.”

“Whoa! That’s an interesting dance move. Is everything alright?” the person asked with a chuckle. She whimpered again and his smile faded.

Somewhere Romee yelled, “Stupid Sonu!”

“Mum?!” Arna rushed over. “Are you okay?”

“Mum?!” Sera rubbed her shoulder. The man shifted to bring Ress’ arm over his shoulders, and she said, “Slowly! She might be sick.”

Ress choked back a sob and he stilled. She opened her eyes, unable to keep them closed without her stomach lurching harder. Arna saw her eyes and called for help.

Inaee wiped his hands on his tunic as he rushed over. He checked her eyes like Arna had. He nodded and looked at the stranger holding her up. “Can you bring her to the healing house?”

“No,” she swallowed again. “Just need… to lie down.”

Inaee looked at her for a second before sighing. He turned to the faces around them and nodded.

“Where are we going?” the stranger asked.

Inaee answered, “Her home.”

“Slow- slow,” she weakly reminded.

Arna and Sera stayed close as Inaee led the way. She was heavier but he held her up with ease and didn’t seem to mind her stumbling feet.

Sarma had followed the sounds of the commotion. She frowned and snapped at Sonu, “You know better than that!”

Sonu scowled and looked away. He held the long war-horn in his hands. “Oh come on, I was just celebrating.”

“Right next to her,” she shot back. Around them a couple of others nodded and glared at him. The rest ignored them.

He muttered an insincere, “Sorry.” With a last glance at Ress he left.

Ress fought to keep her feet under her but the ground kept sliding away. She leaned heavily on the stranger as he followed Inaee through the crowd.

“This is why she needs to give up on being a warrior and do something else,” a man muttered. A woman nodded. Another woman glared at Ress out of the corner of her eyes.

She tried to straighten again but her world still spun. She whimpered and let the stranger take over.

A forever later they finally descended the packed ramp into the family home. Inside, her fingers clutched at the stranger’s clothes as he lowered her to a cot. She let go and when he stepped aside the flickering fire in the centre of the house churned her stomach. She quickly turned her head and stared at the ceiling as she breathed quickly.

The stranger leaned over her again. A scar traced from his forehead to his jaw, leaving behind a closed dip where an eye had once been.

He observed her closely, and then leaned back and said, “Oh I see. Her eyes are moving a lot. Well, that’s strange.”

Romee stomped her shoe on the padded dirt floor. “Leave her alone.”

The man cowed and stepped back. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Erm… what’s wrong?”

The fabric of Inaee’s pants shifted as he kneeled next to Ress. He offered her a cup of water from the cauldron by the fire. She held onto it but didn’t take a drink right away, vaguely registering as the warmth spread through the cup and into her hand.

“It’s an… an injury,” she answered him. “I fought… north… and a Tas- Tasoragh hit….” She stopped to fight with her stomach.

Arna had quickly sat next to her bed. He turned and explained, “They hit her head with a rock.” He bit his lip. “Then she got sick like this.”

Inaee shifted back, allowing Romee and Sera to get closer to her. He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know what it is. We asked a druid-healer some time ago but they hadn’t heard of it either. They promised they would ask others, but they haven’t returned yet.”

Ress took a breath. She quickly lifted her head to take a sip. Afterwards she leaned back and breathed.

She licked her lips. She attempted to look toward Sera. “You don’t have to stay. It’s… it’s your naming.”

Sera and Arna quickly shook their heads.

“We won’t leave you alone!” Sera said.

Arna frowned. “We told you before, mum.”

Ress sighed.

The stranger grinned. “Such good pups.”

Inaee raised a brow. His gaze travelled over the man’s cream-coloured tunic and brown leggings. They weren’t too much different from their own clothes.

Romee asked, “Are you a dog? Uncle Arcsen says that the dog tribe is dumb, but he’s makes fun of mum so I don’t believe him.”

A great smile spread across his long face. “Well thank you for not believing him. Yes, I’m a dog. I’m Roe’naco.”

She frowned. “Roe?”

His smile lessened. “No. Roe’naco. Son of Ros’na. And you’re Romee, right?”

She spread her stance with her hands on her hips. “Yup. Daughter of Ress and Sorsee.”

“And you’re Arna, and Sera, and…?”

Arna explained, “Ress, and that’s uncle Inaee.”

“Nice to meet you.” Roe’naco looked at Ress and his smile faded. His voice lowered, “Is there nothing we can do?”

Ress stopped herself from shaking her head. “No. Thank you for your help. It… it’ll be over once I fall asleep.”

“Oh, okay.” He sat down and Romee and Inaee blinked in surprise. He hummed and asked out loud, “Got any good stories?”

Ress’ brow furrowed. “You don’t… have to stay.”

He whined. “Oh course I do. It’s not to leave someone hurting alone.”

“Sorry, Ress,” Inaee said, glancing over Roe’naco again. “You know I’ve said the same thing before. We’ll stay, at least until you fall asleep.”

She quietly hummed. She fought for another sip and then lay down again. Arna gently took her cup from her hands.

Inaee smiled softly in triumph.

He turned to Roe’naco, and in a quiet voice he asked, “I’d heard we had someone from the dog tribe visiting. How are they doing?”

Roe’naco chuckled. “I haven’t been there in a while, so I’m not sure.”

“Are you a druid?” Romee asked. She sat down and held on to her legs where they were crossed.

“Nope.” He smiled. “I’m a warrior.”

“Ah.” Understanding flashed over Inaee’s face.

“Like mum,” Arna said proudly.

Ress tried to look. Their faces still shifted but she could again make out Roe’naco’s scar and missing eye. His long auburn hair was pulled back in braids, revealing a missing ear.

“Not quite like your mum,” Inaee said. He looked at their guest. “I’ve heard Coo’noam’s warriors are travelling warriors.”

“Sort of!” Roe’naco straightened and his voice rose in excitement as he explained, “After training we search for a tribe to stay with for a while.” His gaze travelled around the home and up to the ceiling. “Ive had some trouble deciding who to go with, but I’ve been going around for a while now and helped out some folks, so I figure I might as well be a travelling warrior.” He beamed.

Ress said quietly, “Travelling?”

He nodded firmly. He hummed, eyes bright. “Wherever I go I help those who need help.”

Romee frowned in thought. “Every tribe?”

“Yup.”

Sera’s eyes grew wide. “Would you help the Tasoragh?”

“Sure, if they needed it. Any Coo’noam would.”

Romee’s fist’s bunched in her lap. She glared. “How could you?!”

“Romee,” Ress warned.

“But you fought them! They hurt you!”

“I know, but.…” She took a breath. “The Coo’noam are different. Dogs are like horses, when it… when it comes down to it, you can’t control them. Leave… him be.”

Romee opened her mouth, but closed it and crossed her arms.

“Stupid,” she muttered.

Roe’naco just chuckled.

Inaee sighed. He warned him, “I wouldn’t tell too many people around here that you would help the Tasoragh. Especially if visit northern Suuroo.”

Roe’naco shrugged. “If they don’t like it I’ll just move on. Someone else will need help.”

Inaee rubbed his face with another sigh. Arna looked down in thought. Romee kept silent, glaring at their guest. Sera slowly looked away and grasped Ress’ hand. Ress wrapped her fingers around her hand as she pondered Roe’naco’s words.

“How-” she licked her lips. Arna offered her more water but she declined. “How do you fight with your injury?”

Roe’naco head tilted much like a dog’s might. “Hm? Well, it was hard at first. I had to re-learn a lot. And all the fighting I’ve been doing while travelling has taught me a lot.”

“You kept fighting? After… you were hurt?”

“Of course! I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.” He paused and then straightened with excitement again. His eye brightened. “Ooo! I’ve got a good one. Want to hear a story about the dog who ate the sun?”

Arna and Sera’s eyes widened. Romee slowly uncrossed her arms.

Ress faintly listened as Roe’naco began. The room still spun, and her stomach occasionally twisted forcing her to swallow back the need to empty it, but her eyes grew heavy. Her mind wandered, thoughts turning, until eventually, finally, she fell into a welcome sleep.

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Ress watched as the familiar blond locks fell to the ground around her. Stray strands picked at her neck but she refrained from moving. She smiled as a horse wandered over, his snout tickling her head and shoulder. He snorted and moved away and she laughed.

“Oh, Osis, it’s not that bad, you crotchety old horse,” Eseca said.

Ress kept still at the foreign feeling of a razor along her skin. “Thank you again,” she said.

“Not a problem. Besides, I’m the only one you’ve got, seeing as no one else has cut hair before. At least, not anyone in a long time.” He dipped the razor into a bowl of water. It faintly sloshed as he shook the blade. Gently holding her head with one wrinkled hand, he brought the razor up again and continued with his work.

She softly said, “I’m sorry if I brought back bad memories.”

“What’s done is done. At least this is for a better reason than my son’s haircut.”

Romee sat next to Ress, facing her with her head resting on her fists.

She watched with a deep frown. “I still don’t get it. Is it because of people who say you shouldn’t be a warrior?” Her tone turned defensive.

“No,” Ress gently said. She paused. “Partly.” Romee took a breath but she quickly said, “I have my own reasons too.”

“You already told Eseca,” she whined. “You could tell me now and we could tell Arna and Sera together.”

“Listen to your mother, Romee,” Eseca said as he worked from the right side to the back. “Or you’ll be picking up horse droppings left around the village.”

Romee pouted but didn’t protest her mentor.

Ress pressed her lips together to fight another smile.

A gust blew across the plains and the grasses softly hissed. Ress shivered without the warmth of her long hair. Eseca’s work continued in silence while around them his other mentees went to and from the horse-keepers’ house. A few glanced at them and then looked in surprise as they walked up the ramp to leave the house, nearly tripping over their feet. Eseca shook his head.

He finally lowered the razor just as Arna and Sera ran toward them.

“Mum!”

“Mum, why?!”

She gently shushed them. “It’s alright.”

“But what’s wrong?” Arna asked.

Sera’s wide eyes took in all the hair scattered on the ground.

Eseca took a brush of horse hair and removed as much of her hair from her neck and her linen tunic as possible.

While he cleaned up, she answered, “Please sit down and I’ll tell you.”

Sera and Arna quickly sat.

“Thank you. And thank you, Eseca,” she said as he wiped her neck with a wet cloth and began cleaning his razor.

He hummed.

Arna stared at the left side of her neck. He breathed, “Wow, I can really see your stain now.”

Ress smiled. Without thinking she rubbed her neck where she had had a skull and spear embedded into her skin with charcoal.

She lowered her hand to her lap with a deep breath. “Thank you, all of you, for being so worried about me, but I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong. I….” She looked down at her hands and at the long locks of her hair on her ground. The wind took a few strands away with it.

“You know I’ve been hurting and not just from my illness. Being a warrior was important to me. Not being able to do that, to protect you and my family, everyone… it’s been hard.”

All three reached out to hold her hands. Missing her chance, Romee scooched closer and rested her hand on her forearm.

Ress squeezed Arna and Sera’s hands and gently bumped her forehead against Romee’s.

“You know I was sent back south because I couldn’t fight anymore.” A crease appeared between her brows. “At any moment I could be sick and then I wouldn’t be able to fight with the others or protect them in battle.”

“It’s dumb,” Romee said.

Ress shook her head. “It’s not, hun. It’s fair. I would be horrified if we were attacked and I couldn’t fight back.

“Which is why I’ve cut my hair. It’s my shame that I can’t protect you.”

Romee scowled, tears at the corners of her eyes. Sera whined. She snuck in under Ress’ arm and wrapped her arms around her. Arna briefly hugged her around her neck.

“But I don’t think you had to cut your hair,” Arna said. He paused and looked over her much shorter hair again. He asked, “Why now?”

Ress took her arm from around Sera and tipped Arna’s head to kiss the top of it. “Because I now know what I’m going to do.”

She leaned back to address them all. “I’m going to leave for a while.” Their eyes widened, and she continued, “Roe’naco gave me an idea. I saw how capable he was on his own and I even watched as him spar with someone after I woke up. I… I want to be like that, and the only way I see how is by learning like he did.” She shook her head and swallowed. “I need to grow somewhere else, outside of the tribe where I won’t be looked down on for continuing down this path.”

They protested. They hugged her tight and kissed her, and eventually she wrapped her arms around all three.

“You don’t have to leave! You could help me with farming!” Arna cried.

“Or help with the horses!” Romee said as she nudged her shoulder.

Sera grasped at her tunic. “Please mum!”

Tears crawled down her cheeks. She shook her head. “I can’t protect anyone here. It’s… I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” She smiled with brittle humour. “Sorry, Eseca.”

He shook his head from where he stood, dumping the water from the bowls. “You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

She turned from him and smiled. She lovingly brushed a few loose strands away from Sera’s face.

“Don’t worry. I’ll visit when I can, I promise.”

Arna sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Maybe you could protect the south when you come back.”

She nodded. “Maybe.” She lifted Romee’s chin. “You all have your family and your mentors. Everyone will help you, so be good.” Her lips curled. “I don’t want to come back and find out Eseca had to cut your hair as well.”

They quietly laughed.

Eseca grunted. He nodded at Romee, “That goes twice for you.”

She stuck her tongue out but her heart wasn’t in it.

“I’ll miss you,” she said.

“Me too,” Sera said. She rubbed her face against Ress’ shoulder.

“Don’t be gone too long, okay?” Arna worried.

“I won’t.” Ress lowered her head and nuzzled his cheek. She did the same with Sera and then Romee.

“When… when will you go?” Romee asked.

“Very soon. Will you see me off, like before?”

They nodded.

She looked up. “I’ll see you again, Eseca.”

He nodded. He said, “I’ll see you again, Ress.”

Arna, Romee, and Sera wiped their eyes and stood with her. She walked with them to their family home where Saceera was just leaving.

She stopped short and stared at Ress’ short hair and wavy bangs in shock.

Ress smiled as they walked by. “Ask Inaee or Eseca again it. I’ll be leaving soon.”

Inside the house was largely quiet. The fire crackled and spat with warmth. Without it she would need to dress warm. Arna and Romee packed her winter clothes, including her wool and fur cloak and boots. Sera gathered other necessities like her comb, soap, some blood cloths, and her spear.

Ress pulled her long-sleeve wool tunic over top. Next the leather chest piece. Vambraces went over her arms and she tucked her fingerless gloves in with her other clothes for now.

She straightened and turned to watch as they worked, smiling with a mixture of pride and sadness. Her gaze drifted from them toward a lovingly folded tunic by her bed. A yellowed skull sat perched on top. After a pause, she turned and kneeled in front of it. She pressed a kiss to her fingertips and touched them to the top of the skull.

“I will see you again, Sorsee,” she whispered.

She sat for a while, recalling fond memories with a smile as she listened to the rummaging through the house. Soon the noises turned quiet and she rose.

She shouldered her bag they had perfectly packed and grabbed her spear. She gestured for them to follow.

“What food do you think I should bring?” she asked with a light voice.

“Mmm… meat,” Sera suggested.

“Berries,” Romee said.

Arna said, “Not too much though, or it’ll weigh you down.”

“Those are good ideas,” Ress said. “Let’s talk to Ceuan and see if her hunters have caught anything. If they have nothing to spare then we’ll go to Saarea and Sarma.”

Arna nodded next to her, changing course to head toward the hunters’ house. “Saarea said Sarma’s field is growing as well as her’s this year.”

“Good.”

They gathered attention as they went from one place to the next. People were distracted by Ress’ hair and they bumped into each other. Some looked away while others stared. Whispers began but Ress kept her back straight and her children raised their chins. The people they spoke to were surprised as well, and Ress summarized her reasoning for them. They were sad to see her go but they happily gave her food for the beginning of her travels.

By the time they were finished the moon had disappeared from the sky. As they neared the outskirts of the tribe their footsteps slowed. A warm breeze blew from the south.

“Are you sure you don’t want a horse?” Romee asked when they came to a stop.

Ress turned to her and smiled. “I’m sure. Our people need them more than I do.”

Romee sighed. Her eyes travelled over her, unsure, but she nodded. “Okay.”

Ress put her bag and spear down and wrapped her arms around her for a long hug.

She put a hand on her shoulder. “Be wild, but be safe.” She kissed her forehead.

She hugged Arna. “I’ll miss the food you help grow.”

He sniffled. “You’ll have the best veggies when you get back.”

She chuckled. She rubbed his back and kissed his nose. “I can’t wait.”

She moved on to Sera, who jumped up and wrapped her arms around her neck. Ress easily caught her and held her up.

She turned her head and whispered in her ear, “I… I don’t know if I want to make clothes anymore.”

“No?”

Sera hummed.

She rubbed her back, smoothing the fabric of her tunic. “What will you do?”

“’m not sure yet. Maybe something with animals. Like Romee.”

“Eh?” Romee asked, leaning in to better hear. “Did you say my name?”

Ress smiled at Sera. “Then I can’t wait to see how well you take care of the animals. And even if it isn’t animals, I can’t wait to see what you do.”

“Miss you,” Sera said.

Ress lowered her to her feet. “I’ll miss you too. I’ll miss all of you. Don’t cause our family too much trouble.”

Romee wrinkled her nose. “What about Grandma Saceera and Uncle Arcsen? And Aunt Seia.”

Ress sighed wryly and put a hand on her hip. “Remember, use your judgement. Respect your elders until you think what they’re doing is dangerous or hurtful. Ask someone else if you’re unsure.”

Romee nodded sharply. “Okay. You too, mum.”

Ress smirked. “I will.”

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and released it. She picked up her bag and her spear and turned to look at the three of them, committing to memory their hair, their beautiful eyes, their bright smiles.

She lifted her spear with a smile. “I will see you again.”

They repeated back to her, “I will see you again.”

After a moment she lowered her arm and turned away. Her footsteps were quiet in the growing darkness. Her boots padded on the dirt of the worn path.

She quietly sighed and shifted her bag.

Voices suddenly called out. Surprised, she looked over her shoulder.

Her children, Inaee, and friends waved. Romee jumped and yelled goodbye again.

Ress laughed and waved her spear in the air.

Up into the starry sky, carried by the winds her voice rang out, “I will see you again!”