Dating in Your 30s as a Mom of Two: The Spaces In Between
It’s 10 p.m., and the house is finally quiet. The dishes are done, the toys are scattered like breadcrumbs across the living room, and the kids are tucked away in bed, dreaming of tomorrow’s adventures. In the silence, I find myself pausing, standing in the kitchen with a half-drunk cup of tea, letting the day’s weight settle in.
There was a time when dating was as simple as making plans on a whim, dressing up just because, and seeing where the night took me. These days, my time isn’t so easily given away. There are little ones who need me, a job that demands my attention, and a household that never seems to stay clean for long. It’s not that I’m complaining; this life is filled with the kind of love that spills out of scribbled drawings and bedtime giggles. But between the school pickups, work emails, and stories before bed, there’s a space—a small, quiet space that I haven’t quite figured out how to fill.
Dating now isn’t just about meeting someone I like. It’s about finding someone I can trust, someone who understands that my life is a little chaotic, a little louder than most. It’s about knowing that whoever steps into our world has to be more than just a romantic interest—they have to be the kind of person who can be steady, even when the living room looks like a disaster zone and dinner is whatever I managed to throw together last minute.
Not Just Anyone Will Do
There’s no room for “just anyone” anymore. My girls deserve more than a revolving door of people who don’t stick around. It’s not just my heart I’m protecting; it’s the little lives intertwined with mine, who’ve already learned that love isn’t always simple. I can’t afford to be reckless. I can’t afford to let just anyone in, because opening that door isn’t just about me anymore—it’s about the two little hands that hold onto mine.
And with the world feeling a little more unpredictable these days, it’s hard to know who to trust. It’s not like I’m out meeting people at bars or casually striking up conversations with strangers. My life happens in the spaces where I’m not looking, in the moments when I’m pushing a cart down a grocery aisle or sneaking a quiet coffee break in the middle of a hectic workday. It’s not glamorous, but it’s real, and if someone is going to be a part of it, they need to understand that I come as a package deal—crumbs, chaos, and all.
Finding the Right Kind of Brave
There’s a courage in letting someone get close, especially when life has taught you to be careful. The right person won’t just see the chaos; they’ll see the beauty in it, too. They’ll understand that love, in this stage of life, isn’t about grand gestures or perfect timing—it’s about showing up in the small moments that make up the day. It’s about finding the magic in between the mess, the laughter, and the quiet nights where it’s just me and the sound of the world settling down.
Maybe one day, I’ll cross paths with someone who gets it, who sees that the life I’ve built is already full but has just enough space for the right person to walk in. Until then, I’ll keep living in the beautiful spaces in between, knowing that while dating may not be easy, it’s worth holding out for someone who fits into this messy, wonderful life.
© 2024 A.M. Roberts. All rights reserved.