Chapter 1: Silent girl to heels and lace.

Decorated in velvet with heels too tight, I crouch over a curb maintaining my balance as the rotting garbage provokes me to vomit. My stomach is in bundles, and my eyes begin to water. Not daring to ruin the hours it took to paint my face I raise my nose to the stars, hoping the wind will ease the nerves. Minutes away from my current phobia, my body begins to hum in terror. Unwinding my back I stand to face the bar lights and the patrons milling around lingering in its hue. Who said this was truly impossible?

Before my brain can process the dumpsters are long gone, the music hits and my hands move on their own. Throwing open the curtain to a roar of cheers, the creature who lives inside runs to the light. How did her and I become one?

Growing up shy, I was usually acquainted with the silence. I often chose it, demanding to only be still, refusing to speak. I never truly understood the power of voice, and decided that I deserved to hangout with the shadows. My family often would tell me I did not belong with them. Not from a malicious intent but truly from genuine laughter and observation. The fed-ex baby they'd howl at me during long nights of family mischief and home cooked meals.

It soon became my mission to understand why I felt so far away from my family. Physically we were always close. My siblings and I lingering in the hallways and teasing each other about our newest clothes, we always knew how to share the room.

We never knew how to fill it though. Long pauses and extended breaths, the truth was not revealed often, if ever at all. I could feel the hesitation when each moment came, but all we knew was strength and anger. The shadows held my secrets for me, but I didn't realize at the time they can't always be there. As time continued to pass and I grew older, the shadows nuzzled into my mind, allowing me to find comfort with them there. They pushed me to speak, allowing me to be heard. It was a long journey before they realized how to roar.