Shit’s lit this christmas

"Be fruitful and multiply!" Says uncle God, while diapers become more expensive than abortions and orphanages overflow with throwaway children born with their mother's heroin addiction.

"You get methadone for Christmas!" Santa says with a broad smile that protrudes ominously from under a thick, white mustache with yellow nicotine stains on it.

He stumbles into a hall full of parentless children, a torn up black bag in hand filled with donated canned foods and second-hand pajamas that the children from the neighborhoods have outgrown. O, come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant! Let us partake in sharing our old, faded and stretched out trash with the lesser children this year!

There is little that children are more grateful for than a hearty tin of baked beans in this day and age. Thank goodness the stay-at-home mom with the Mercedes and acrylic nails spotted the shopping cart for charity at the entrance of the grocery store. What on earth would we have done without her generosity?

Her application to heaven will surely be accepted by Saint Peter and his key to the pearly gates.

That is assuming, she hasn't fucked her personal trainer at the gym... Adultery is not tolerated by the kingdom of God. The book of Moses actually states that adulterers must be stoned and that always leads me to wonder if children were allowed to participate in stoning... What a world.

So many of us are just destined to be blasphemous insects writhing in the misery of our lonely existence, not nurturing parents patiently teaching their children how to tie their shoelaces.

Yet, here we have active addicts birthing brain damaged babies, victims of rape that aren't allowed to have abortions and abused mothers with Stockholm syndrome seeing her children be taken away and slowly melt into the system, never to return.

The conclusion to this does not include a solution to the problem. I'm simply just saying that people are nocturnal larva that squirms around brainlessly when you shine a light on it. So I'm lowering my expectations of the world. Not that I had much to start out with.

The fucking end.