The place, with the thing

You’re okay, yes, okay, fine. Good, we’re good. See, yes. Walk, slowly, gently, a light step. You’re happy, Smile, no too much, less, less. LESS. Yes there, That there. Who’s that? Why is he looking, he see me, who he be? Stop looking, stop looking. Stop, now, no not walking, stop looking. He sees it. He sees it, he sees our looking. Why, why, no, he knows us. See the smile, the loose lips, the white teeth. He bares them. Like a dog. Pat his head, good boy. NO! No, no, with words, speakings, what is it? What is it? Pleasantries. Yes, yes Pretty words. Soothing, happy, friends. Wait… is he a friend? Is that his knowing? He knows, yes. That’s it. Say the words, the pretty ones.

“Hey, how’s it going?

“Fine Jesse. How are you?

See, see, there, he knows us, yes, for sure. His name, his name, his calling… Frank, frank? Frank…. Yes. No…yes? Yes!

“I am good Frank, but you know how it is…” Smile, the sad one, not happy, NOT HAPPY, there there. See. Yes. Good good. Break away, away, TO THE HILLS! Escape, get gone. No, no, he doesn’t get it. Be gone. No him, BE GONE.

“I am sorry to hear that Jesse, it your mother? I hear she is sick and in the hospital.”

Is it? Is that the problem? No, no, not the problem, yes, she is a problem, sure. Yes. But not our problem, not anymore, die, die, go, leave me. Sick, sure sick, she is sick. Right? No, no, we made her sick… did we? Yes! No? No matter, free, we are free. But agree, agree, we have taken too long. Looks bad, not good, we are sad, upset. Go, say the thing, the words.

“Yes, Frank. They say the coma looks bad, she might not wake up.” Good, yes, happy about that. No! don’t smile, you are sad. Remember. Sad, not happy, opposite, reverse. Leave, break away, I don’t like, Jerk. Idiot. Stupid face. I hate him, I hate people. Get away.

“It was good seeing you Frank.” No it wasn’t, stupid jerk face. “But I need to go, see you later.” True, true, not false, need to get, to flee. Away.

“See you later Jesse.” No, please, I will not. Idiot, stupid questions. He knows… no he doesn’t, yes. No. Make him sick too. No, bad, too many. Dad is gone, sick first, now mom. Not good, not good. They will know. No, stupid, they already know. You don’t know, but they do. Words float about, they say things, they know things. They watch you and spread their true, their falsehood. Flee, leave. Bus, remember , the bus, then the train, we leave. Go, gone, not here.

Slow, not fast, speedy is not good, looks bad. No hurry, nothing to see.

No, stupid. Another stupid, IDIOT, moron. Leave me, don’t see, don’t look. NO! she saw me, leave me. Go. NO! she is coming, walking this way. No, no, no.

“Hey Jesse, how are you doing? Heading somewhere?”

“The place, with the thing.” Wait… wait, the words are wrong. Those aren’t right, wrong, wrong, no no no. Different words, need different words. STUPID! Her dumb face mess me up. Hit her, hit her stupid face. Moron, looks dumb, stupid look hangs off her face. It needs to be hit back, into place. HIT HER. Closed fist, hard knuckles need to bite, to snap. Again, hit her again, harder. Stupid still, dumber now. Again, to the ground, to ground, kick, foot to face. Into place, make it right. Rid her of her stupid, her dumb look. It grips her still, clings to her neck. Gone, get it gone. Again. Again.

Again.