The shoes no one can fill

I know how it feels to be judged—to carry the weight of eyes that only see your faults, to suffocate under assumptions that strip away your truth. I know how it feels to gasp for breath, yearning for someone to truly listen, only to be met with silence or dismissal. I know how it feels to not be understood, to speak a language no one seems willing to learn.

Sometimes, I wish things could be different. I wish I could rewind time—to the day before it all began, to the hour or even the minute before judgment became my shadow. Those moments, though fleeting, felt lighter than the heaviness I carry now. How I wish I wasn’t the one chosen to bear this weight.

I’ve often thought of myself as the black sheep among the rest, the one who stands apart—not because of choice, but because of circumstance. Perhaps I’m the indifferent one, the one who doesn’t quite fit the mold. And yet, this difference makes me a target, a canvas for misunderstanding and misplaced blame.

When I say I know how it feels, I mean it with every fiber of my being. But what I wish most is for you to truly understand. If only you could step into my shoes, even for a moment. Yet, I know that’s impossible. Your feet are either too big or too small, and no matter how hard you try or how earnestly you claim to understand, you never will. You may empathize, but you can never fully know what it’s like to walk my path, to bear my pain.

It’s frustrating when people say, “I get it,” because they don’t. They can’t. My struggles are mine alone, as unique as the print of my sole. And though I’ve longed for someone to fill these shoes, to share this burden, I’ve come to realize that it’s not about them walking in my shoes. It’s about them standing beside me, offering support as I walk my path.

Perhaps one day, someone will truly see me—not as a black sheep or an outsider, but as a person with a story worth understanding. Until then, I will keep walking, even if the shoes feel too heavy and the road too lonely. Because, in the end, this path is mine, and only I can walk it.