On Wattle Street.....

Chapter One

‘Fuck Chocolates’

I came back to my old town to die. A quick death, hopefully. But one which would at least warrant some kind of emotional outburst from my mother. A woman I would most definitely die to please.

She was old and wretched and had been ever since her husband died. My brother says she lost her faith. I say she lost her mind. And to top it off, she’d made my life her focal point for the past year, which meant phone calls throughout the night telling me what a bad daughter I’d been. 

Really? 

I wasn’t the one who abandoned her kids for a man who could care less. I wasn’t the one who spent every last dime on ridiculous business ventures just to please an emotionally retarded and inept human fossil.

But then again, what was the point? When really all she ever wanted was to just bury me deep into her past along with the devil himself - who was - the other half of my parentage, my father, John Balgan. 

The one individual on earth who she loathed more than me. 

She hated him. Couldn’t stand him. Once she told me she tried to kill him. Once she told me she almost paid someone else to. 

How they ever had sex I still can’t even begin to fathom. The two were like Frodo and the fucking ring and I am yet to determine which is which.

   ‘Well look who decided to come home’ my mother said as she took another long drag from her slim line cigarette and arched her eyebrow like some evil fairy tale witch. 

So it begins, I thought as I stood there on the side walk, the screeching of the taxi as it took off to freedom a perfect welcoming committee on a perfectly dreary, rainy and straight up shit day.

I couldn’t look like I was crawling home on my hands and knees more, even if God herself came down and kicked me in the vagina while singing there she goes just a walking down the street.

Thirty four and alone – again – fuck me…

     ‘Hello mother’ I smiled as my black leopard carry on slipped off my ridiculously white shoulder and fell to the once golden but now soggy and worthless like my life leaves.

She rolled her eyes, here it comes….. wait for it…..there’s the cigarette flick, the eye roll, the turn toward the door and ….. and…..

‘Her father’s daughter’ …..there you go! Never one to disappoint her fans, the world’s worst mother ladies and gentleman.

I straightened up, clutching my sides with my fists as I looked toward the castle of doom that was, the witch's house.

       ‘I’m fine’ I whispered, barely even that, ‘Okay…. One week, one week Jay’ yep that’ll work, lies.

I leant over, picked up the remnants of my life and wattled home like the coward I was. I needed whiskey and I needed a cigar. Fuck chocolates.