Dark tangles

My upper chest hurts when I breath in. Regardless I take in gulps of air and continue my day. When night hits I lay flat on my stomach to stop the pain and I count my sheep to continue my slumber. The heart inside my heart beats two steps extra as if she has an exciting secret to share with me. Regardless I wait for the flutter to subside and continue my conversation.

I know inside why I feel this way. I know why it hurts to breath. Why it hurts to sleep. I know what secret my heart has to tell me.

Whenever I am lucid enough to catch my bodies drift I try to sooth my self with quick reality checks, powerful words of wisdom that not all things are meant to be. This is all happening for a reason. Although I know the logic and although I know it is all true. I don't know what to do.

I feel numb to progress. I feel for every fifty steps I've taken, I haven't moved very far. For every reason I have that tells me it is good it's over there is a memory that disputes that order.