Hungry Ghost

I awoke to total darkness all around me.

I couldn't tell whether my eyes were opened or closed. Was this all a dream?

It didn't take long before I realized I was trapped.

Where was I anyway?

Then, I remembered. I had been hit by a bus. Everything else after that went blurry. Had I really died? It all seemed so unreal.

I had to get out of there! I just had to! I went into complete hysteria! I clawed at the surface with all my might. Somehow, it was working. Blood ran down my fingers, but I still kept going. Finally the wood of my coffin cracked open, now all I had to do was dig. Dirt piled up in a matter of seconds; it wasn't long before I was free.

Yet something wasn't right. There was no way any ordinary human could have done that. Impossible. But it didn't matter now.

I was hungry, hungrier than I'd ever been in my entire life.

How long had I been down there? I could barely think. Instincts began to kick in. It was like I wasn't myself anymore. I started digging up other corpses from their graves, shoving them down my throat and eating them whole. What was I doing?! What the Hell had happened?!

None of that mattered now. It tasted so good!!!!! And yet I couldn't help feeling utterly disgusted at the same time. What had I become?

I ran over to a nearby pond to see my reflection. Pure horror came over me. My skin had turned sallow with scabs all over, and my body was hunched down like an old man. I hadn't totally decomposed yet, I could tell by some of the muscles left on my festering legs. I was totally bald (save a few tufts of hair that stuck out). My arms had become strangely elongated and my fingers were practically claws. No wonder I'd been able to dig myself out of my own grave!

It was clear now what had happened. I had become a jikininki, a monster of the undead cursed to prey off the flesh of corpses.

Why was it that only now I realized how foolishly I'd lived my life?

My name is Shigeo Tsukino. I was the CEO of a major company, had an enormous fortune, a beautiful, loving wife named Azumi, and excelled at everything I could possibly put my mind to. But it still wasn't enough. No matter what I accomplished I always wanted more. Not to mention I lived only for myself and myself alone. Everyone else was merely a pawn in my game. Even my dear Azumi was more like a trophy than a wife.

If only I had realized how blessed I truly was back then, maybe none of this would have ever happened.

It wasn't long before I had eaten all of the corpses in the entire graveyard. It seemed I was always hungry. Nothing I ate ever seemed to fill me up very much.

For months on end I traveled from cemetery to cemetery.

Later I decided to go back to the old graveyard where I had been buried to see if any new graves had been made. I had hidden myself behind a tombstone in case anyone came by. I saw Azumi walk up to my grave. She laid flowers and candles around a photo of me.

"Happy birthday my love," she said softly.

Is that really how long it's been? I couldn't believe it! Days and nights all blurred together now like one hellish nightmare.

"Guess what? I'm pregnant." She smiled. "The doctors say it's going to be a girl. I was thinking about naming her Atsuko. It will be a beautiful name for our little girl won't it?"

The smiled faded. She broke down and started to sob.

"I'm sorry! I promised I wouldn't cry, that I would be strong for you and the baby. But it gets so hard! I just can't do this anymore! I need you! Why did you have to leave me?! Why?!!"

I sprang out like a flash of lighting and ran over to her.

"Azumi! Azumi it's going to be alright!!! I'm here now!! You don't have to be alone anymore!" I desperately tried to say, but all that came out was grunts and shrieks.

She screamed, terror clouding her almond eyes.

"It's me Azumi! It's me! Don't you recognize me?!" Nothing.

She was completely paralyzed with fear.

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me. I heard the sound of something cracking; I'd crushed her.

She lay there dead, broken like an old doll, the love of my life, the mother of my child.

Then I remembered how hungry I was. It felt like ages ago since I last fed. The Shigeo I once was was gone, it was the jikininki who was in control now. Before I knew it I'd eaten her whole.

AZUMI!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?!!!!?!?!?!! I KILLED THEM!!!! I KILLED MY OWN WIFE AND DAUGHTER!!!!

I saw images of women at hospitals, giggling babies, and smiling families. This was something I could never have.

Azumi! Atsuko! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! If I could do this all over again I never would have harmed any of you!!

"Yes you would have," a voice whispered. "You would eat them like you did just now. They were delicious weren't they?"

NOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

"But you did. Remember, you're a monster now."

Monster? Is that really what I am? Am I really doomed to wander forever feasting on the flesh of humans?

There had to be some way out of this! There just had to!

Then I remembered hearing stories about jikininki when I was a boy. The only way to break the curse is to perform the segaki service. If I could find some monks to perform it on me, then I would be free from this.

I scoured the land for the nearest temple, which didn't actually take that long. I was in a cemetery after all.

I wrapped at the door until one of the monks noticed me.

"Another jikininki came back! It's time to perform the segaki service!" One of them called out.

"What do you think this one's name is?" One of the monks asked.

"I'd recognize that suit anywhere! Even when it's torn up and filthy. It must be Shigeo Tsukino!" Another exclaimed. "I always knew this would happen to you if you didn't change your ways." He nodded solemnly.

All of the monks gathered around and began to meditate. Several days later offerings of rice and water were placed out for me on alter next to a holy image of the Buddha. People began to approach the alter two by two, one sprinkling water from a pine branch, another burning incense.

"We call on you to consume these offerings!" They cried.

I instantly started shoving it down my throat. Never before had anything tasted so sweet or been so filling. Finally, I wasn't hungry anymore.

They wrote my name and all my sins down on papers and began to burn them.

I was free at last! I saw my wife and child smiling. Atsuko looked to be about a toddler now.

"Daddy!" She squealed as she ran towards me. But then I realized, I wasn't the one they were smiling for.