Sweet Sorrow

What I am most addicted to is sadness.

The sorrowful feeling that begins as a knot in your chest and spreads throughout your body, intoxicating, numbing you to the reality that things will get better, they also do. The anguish that takes hostage your mind, contaminates your thoughts with the certainty that your existence is worth nothing in this world.

Is there any sweeter feeling than that of defeat? Is there a more exhilarating experience than the fall from the peak of hope, landing in the comfort of failure and resignation? After a journey into the possible, is there a more welcoming sight than of cynicism?

Sadness humbles, it cleanses our souls of impractical dreams and unattainable fantasies. In misery and suffering, we learn to surrender to what we are and relinquish the burden to become what we could be. 

It is in sadness, only, that I find happiness.