Barbie Syndrome
People all over the world are plagued by the same inner voice exclaiming, "you are not good enough as you are." A lack of self-love has manifested itself into a fixation with Barbie and Ken-like effigies that purport to tell us how we should conform.The journey to healing and self-actualization start with a balanced emphasis on self-love and regular affirmations. Here is my story:
They call me “Barbie,”
So I call them assholes!
I do not walk, talk, or gawk for you
I will not suck, fuck, or duck from you
I am your
Nothing
Because you insist on treating me as your anything
Leaving me to feel a bit like everything
And yet something that you would just throw away on a whim
Someone better call God.
That's right the big toymaker in the sky
And let him know that his stereotypical action figure male dolls have grown
Defective.
I guess the quality control guardian angels weren't too selective
When they created such broad shoulders
For such a tiny perspective
Let's make this respective
Yes,
I go to school
Mechanical Engineering
No,
I've never considered modeling
Yes,
I do aspire to flow like Nikki one day
No,
Not Minaj
Like Giovanni!
Because I am a poet
NOT a Barbie.
I mean check the jacket on the notebook
That's how sick my poems get
Guess you could say I ego trip too
Because I insist on speaking in hymns
Because I was blessed lyrically
Through my mother umbilically
Who prayed spiritually for my success
So YES!
I do have the voice that parts seas
My legs do resemble the stalks of the amazon tress
My features were hand chosen to hand the chosen with my regalness
I'm here to remind mortals that Barbies bleed too
And no,
Not just 4 to 6 days a month
We bleed for you
As you divide our thighs and color-code worth
Melancholy in my melanin
Stripped from feeling feminine
I have become an inanimate-human
Because I did not object to being objectified
Dissent to being desensitized
To the pain that other little Barbies must realize
Like,
Let me Mattel you something
--I am Battered Barbie
My accessories include narcissism and extreme self- consciousness
Often,
I am unsure which is worse.
Because I stress that everyone is looking at me
But I obsess that you can only see me for my flaws
My line is then recalled and I'm followed by hundreds of black-skinned girls who recall
Why they want to look like me
And I’m like
"Baby Girl, I don't even look like me!"
Minus my European disguise
The make-up on my eyes
The smallness of my thighs
The padded bra to help me go up half a fucking cup size
Cause really my chest is just fun-size
But who said that Barbies needed to come in one size?!
And once I realize
That Black Barbie Dolls have all White features
So no,
Buying Dark Skinned Barbie
Will not solve the sick cyclical cycle that we have created
You must look at your daughters, wives and friends who are now jaded
Tell them they are Queens
And beg them to sees it
Let them know pride is within our reach
It was never between our thighs
If she stretched out she would seize it
Wounded dolls with pussies like broken records
Fix yourself before you let them play you
They call me “Barbie.”
And I reply,
"I just wanted to be held in a non-sexual context
It sucks feeling like the ugliest doll at the bottom of a forgotten toy box.
I just wanted to be held
Dammit.
I promise,
I just wanted to be
Loved
Enough
So I could
Actually
Love myself
Too.