Don't get me wrong I'm glad we've advanced in mental healthcare. Suicide and depression is at a gigantic epidemic. But think outside the poorly lit box for an iota of a second and think about the possibility of psychological indifference as a gift. Creativity is at its epitome with a chemical imbalance. Stories are more climatic with a turbulent and frustrating plot. Personalities are oppressed on medications. Sometimes the best things in life aren't "normal."

Pennywise appearing in the darkened slightly pink room from the glow of the blinds. He crawls over me knowing my childhood fear, becomes the wretched mouth filled completely with teeth and sinks his throat over my head and shoulders. Shoving down my torso like a cock too big to deep throat. Stopping at my hip bones and leaving my legs to play with after his meal, like a 14 yr old boy goes about his day setting down his jerky and finishing off his jerky.

I think the color white represents false hope. White is a misleading color. Many people view white as the color you see before going to heaven, angel wings and soft feathers. I see the color white with a cynical filter, white church walls surround me and leave me with an extreme feeling of displacement. Anxiety humming in my ears and blank stares. I didn't light the flame to satisfy an empty hole in my heart, I did it because the pastel faced people told me it would be fun. So here I am with bland walls and a white path ahead, instead of a walkway of yellow flowers kissing my decisions and green tress; whispering freedom and life. People with pastel faces set up the system, the skin of the privileged glowing defiantly. They hoped to keep us from savagery and locked us in. Our own free will to get up and walk out, but nobody ever does. White things seem like the God given answer, but I know better. Life is only as colorful as we make it.